Cougar Power Ranking Second to None

Yup, I checked the website and its seems we did win last night and we maintained our top ranking.

Wilmette Park District - Postgame Power Rankings

1. Cougars

• Win or lose, Cougars always win.

2. Walter Keefe & Son's

• Team Orange parties are rumored to be legendary. Opening day loss hurt them in the postgame standings.

3. Grandpa's

• A great bar with tasty food and a loaded cd jukebox sponsors their team.

4. Howard Park Hitmen

• The Hitmen love British beer and Evanston chicken.

5. Miller Time

• Common sense in a bottle.

6. Brew Ha's

• Team name is a beer or a fight. Don't mess with them.

7. Emerald Loop

• Rookie Wilmette rookie team with light blue jerseys has a longtime Chicago bar with a green logo sponsoring team.

8. Gulliver's

• Gulliver's drinks in the dark but can see with their fluorescent jerseys.

9. SLAM

• A thrifty group. Uses pintprice.com for postgame planning.

10. D-38 Bombers

• Kenilworth team only drinks Vielle Bon Secours beer.

11. Brown Stars

• Can't believe Shilby allowed team name. Have you seen urbandictionary.com? Can you imagine what they drink?

12. Maple Avenue Marauders

• Having hard time fielding full squad for game. All hope is not lost for postgame.

13. The Chieftains

• You have to be 21 to have a postgame.
  

Sadly, the truth is that we got slaughtered last night. We just can't hit the southpaw pitching. Our only real highlight of the game was a Danielsen to Oxer play at the plate. We now have four weeks in a row that we have made a successful play at the plate.

The postgame party was again of high caliber. Many of us call Melchiorre a Renaissance Man or Wilmette's da Vinci. After last night, he is truly Abe Froman. As proof, take a gander at this lovely spread courtesy of Dave (ahem, Barb) on which we feasted last night.

We had an assortment of beers, chips, and dips. In fact, we had four flavorings for our vittles. Three different mustards and a wasabi mayonnaise. The Melchiorre family bats cleanup for a good reason. The homemade wine was like a good port resting on top of our belly full of grillin'.

In addition to the cuisine we downed by the mouthful and the potion we glugged by the gallon, the night was also highlighted with great dialouge and ball busting (we figured we had to do it at the postgame because we failed to do it during the game).

Topics were varied and we found the best hangover cure thanks to a Dr. and a RN. But there has been one pressing question on the minds of all Cougars for some time and it needed to resolved last night.

Why can't Flannery type?

This is a refined and worldly guy who attends fancy concerts and black tie wine events, dines and visits with Saudi OPEC Ministers and Ambassadors to India and gives us his spot-on analysis on political, financial and economic events (How may other postgames include a discussion about Libor?).

So why can't this gentleman get his qwerty groove going?

Tim insists he can type. But based on the evidence presented below, the Cougars needed answers. Why can't Tim lower and raise one digit for ten keystrokes - eight letters, two spaces and a period? Who is Stephanie Hand? Is she a real person or Tim's online user name? And finally, is she a Cougar?

Tim categorically denied any pseudonym usage and he insisted that he actually can type and by choice has selected to abstain.

Last night, the team learned that many years ago, that Tim, who is not of Islamic faith, issued a fatwa concerning email. Let's just say that Tim's personal Koran would never be in html format.

Tim believes that, in essence, the brilliant traders and quant jocks that dwell on Wall Street and Greenwich, CT, and who stroke their keyboards and ogle their monitors while turning 4 quarters into 5 dimes (shout out to the Smart Shel Silverstein) have no clue how to send an effective email.

Tim is inundated with electronic rubbish and, as a money manager, can't focus on his equity arbitrage, quantitative directional, and systematic diversified trading styles and simultaneously check email, Cougar related or otherwise.

So it turns out that Stephanie cares for all of Tim's email and generally keeps Tim's world in order so that he can be a productive worker, husband, father, coach, and Cougar. She is the brains of the organization and keeps Tim at peace when he is not wearing his yoga pants.

All I know is that if Tim ever wins Cougar of the Week, he is sharing the award with Stephanie.