The Return of Howard School

 **  Jeff Danielsen is our Cougar columnist this week.  **

As a young boy, I can remember my dad dragging me to Howard School when he would go play basketball on open gym nights. I would be left to shoot around at one of the small dingy side gyms while the old men played shirts and skins in the main gym. This was old school pick-up basketball. No air conditioning, no break away rims, no multi-purpose courts. This is where the young guns would go to test their game against the old guard.

Fast forward four decades later and the young guns are still testing their mettle against the old guard. And in this case, Howard School was back in session.

 

To set the scene, the Cougars, nine year veterans of Tuesday night softball and primarily made up of former McKenzie dads, found themselves playing against a group of younger, faster, stronger  McKenzie dads, ironically named, Old School.  One thing was for sure, “old school” softball would win this game.

Old School is a term that refers to the style of play where seasoned veterans take advantage of lessons, not yet learned by their younger, more athletic counterparts to ultimately defeat them. And not just defeat them but do so in a manner in which they are left scratching their heads as to how they could have possibly lost. With the stage set, the first bell rang and it was time to start school.

Inning One started off with hits by Boom and Fort.  But, it all looked for naught as a pop up to 2nd base followed. However, a lesson in crafty base running ensued as Boom tagged up and scored on the infield catch. A walk by JD, a hit by Bobi and a two-out double by Li’l Rads brought in two more runs to give the old school Cougars a 3-0 lead. 

Then it was time for Professor Martini to take the mound. Utilizing his vast array of high arcs, acute angles and even a perfectly linear toss, Old School was stymied by some old school pitching and only managed to dot the occasional run on the score book.  Martini could not have done it without being surrounded by other old school masters such as Lipsey making a catch in centerfield that would have made Galileo proud. Another key play was Pastor Ted leaping high into Heaven to snag a base hit that seemingly defied Newton’s laws as it took its first bounce. This held what could have been a home run into a mere 1/4 fraction of a home run.  And finally, FlanDog was flawless at 2nd base getting big out after big out proving that while E=MC2, E does NOT = 2B.

Enter the top of the 7th inning, final exam time, score 3-3. Top of the inning Martini leads off with a single. A couple of outs advance him to 3rd with Bobi coming up to bat.

Flashback to last week: To spark the team to a late inning come from behind victory, Martini takes off from first base on a pitch and just keeps running, eventually getting tagged out somewhere between 2nd and 3rd. The umpire calls it the dumbest thing he has seen in 40 years of umpiring softball.  We, of course, disagree.  Martini magic usually works.  

So, here we are 40 feet from the go ahead run and Martini just starts wandering off of the bag taunting the Old School young guys to get him out. They take the bait and throw to third base, at which point, Martini races to steal home for the go ahead run. Martini and the Cougars ace the final exam.

The younger Old School starts off the bottom half of the inning by roping a line drive single.  A sharp grounder to Fort and we force the baserunner but the throw to first is low and the runner is safe. However, someone had not been listening during Softball 101 and makes a half step turn to second base before walking back to first.  Meanwhile, Li’l Rads applies a tag on him and the ump calls him out. With two gone and nobody on, the Cougars get the final out and the school bell rings. Old school defeats Old School.

And, it is time for recess at Fortier’s where the cafeteria serves up some tasty Smoque BBQ. Golden Apples go to Susan and Steve Fortier for hosting a great postgame.

As for the old school that was Howard, all that is left is the steeple as one enters the park from the end of Spencer Avenue. It is a reminder that there is always a new school ready to replace the old school. But not last Tuesday, as old school defeated Old School, 4-3.