The Cougars Are Champions!

The title is not a misprint and it's not a joke.  If you've followed us since the beginning, you know that a Cougar championship truly completes our rags-to-riches story.  From our first Tuesday night game four seasons ago when we were slaughtered 38-1 to last night's championship game won by us slaughtering our opponent, this is the stuff that makes sports fairy tales.  

If you just look back at early blog entries, it is truly amazing how our team has improved mentally and physically on the field.  Only a few of us had played 16" softball before, a handful of others had played baseball, and some had never stepped foot on a diamond.  It gives me great pride to know that we did this as a team and to see the great support everyone has given each other to improve.

We couldn't have scripted a more spectacular championship run.  Last week we beat Ethervision 16-0 for our first ever shutout.  Then last night we beat the Tappers 10-4 after losing one-run heartbreakers to them during the season.  Immediately following that, we took our momentum to the Brown Stars and bested them in five innings with a final score of 17-2 to clinch the league title.

In the three postseason games our fiery offense lit up for 43 runs, which was the exact total we had in our entire first season! What is even more impressive is that our sure-handed defense absolutely shut down our opponents.

Here are few quick memories and highlights from the excellent evening.  

• Martini toying with the batters and getting on base every at-bat
• Philthy slamming an incredible homer to secure a victory
• Hogs shooting the ball and finding the holes
• Diamond Dave batting 1.000 in the championship
• JD with hands like magnets
• Li'l Rads flattening the ball with vicious swings
• Bobi ripping key hits to the gap
• Flandog handling line shots with ease
• Stabber striding around the bases like a thoroughbred
• Fort making catches that would have an extended segment on SportsCenter
• Diddy tracking down every ball in his vicinity
• Boom swinging out of his shoes and stealing bases
• Thejokewriter crushing the leather off the ball 
• Ski, Trouter and JOx were sorely missed but we cheered them as part of the victory.

It was an incredible team effort.

We celebrated on the field, and then as is the Cougar custom, we continued the celebration until the wee hours of the morning with great thanks to TMart for the delicious taco treats, JRads for the beverages, and Fort and Mrs. Philthy for the impromptu celebratory champagne.  The celebration wouldn't have been complete without our loyal fans whose cheering voices echoed through Howard Park and into the streets of Wilmette.

Looking back at my childhood, there are really only two things that stand out for me:  vacations and sports.  Win or lose, Tuesdays with the Cougars can give us a sporting vacation from the day-to-day monotony we sometimes feel.  For me and my family, the memories created at Howard Park and at the post-games will be cherished forever, and I believe the same is true for all the Cougars and fans.

Now, of course, winning a championship has a direct correlation to an increase in Cougar happiness.  With next season starting in April, we have nine months to ride cloud 9.  But like every high we will eventually come down.  

The only proven way to have sustainable happiness is to surround yourself with a loving family and dear friends.  In this category, the Cougars have been champions for years.

See all of you next season!

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE PICTURES FROM THE CHAMPIONSHIP NIGHT.

Belle of the Ball

The Cougars may just be the belle of the ball in the playoffs.

You would have thought we were at the Magic Kingdom park last night because Howard Park was the happiest place on earth for a few hours.

The 6th seeded Cougars beat the 3rd seeded villians, Ethervision, 16-0.

• Martini and Diamond Dave combined forces to pitch our first ever shutout.
• JD once again made his infielders look great at 1B.
• Boom covered the hot corner with perfection and ripped the ball at-bat.
• Bobi had a key two-out double and made a great play at the plate while at catcher.
• Flandog had a key two-out single to continue our 10-run inning.
• Fort was flawless at SS and smacked the sphere at the dish.
• The Jokewriter was swift on the base paths and patrolled the outfield.
• Li'l Rads turned an infield single into a triple with smart baserunning.
• Stabber's long strides turned a couple would-be singles into game changing doubles.
• Diddy, with pixie dust in his hair after just flying back from Orlando shortly before game time, played a rock solid game at the plate and in the field.
• JRads gets huge props for sending me on an earlier flight home to make the game.
• JOx couldn't make the game now that he is a Florida resident but he couldn't miss out on Disney magic.

After the game we hopped on the monorail and celebrated the victory at the castle and Li'l Rads supplied the postgame feast.

The semifinals and championship games are next Tuesday night starting at 6:45 p.m.

The Cougars have to march through the Tappers and Chicken Shack in the next two rounds of the playoffs.  In order to continue this Cinderella story, we will have to ward off these ugly stepsisters to bring home the princely prize.  Everyone loves a fairytale ending.

Super Men

It wasn't a real game so it's not a real blog.

The Cougars and Chicken Shack played a scrimmage game Tuesday night during the bye week.  As has been our trend this season, the Cougars lost by one run.

We do not have any video of the game last night, but enjoy some film of two super men who can hit the rock on the field and rock out with hits on the stage.

See you at the playoffs next week!

It's a town full of losers, I'm pulling out of here to win

 

After a tough 17-14 loss last night to Gulliver's, certain Thunder Road lyrics seemed like an apt bandage to our wound and a fitting metaphor when re-worked Captain Cougar-style.

So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

We Cougars are old, we're not pretty, but we stick together like a band of brothers rooting and supporting each other when we are down.

You can hide 'neath your covers and study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain for a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero, that's understood

While we all had our painful moments, we actually did have a few heroes out there last night.  JD made the left side of the infield look great with his fabulous catches.  Flandog had a crucial RBI to extend an inning.  Bobi slammed the ball around the park.  The Jokewriter knocked an opponent out with a smash to 3B.  Philthy was on base every at-bat.  OB and Flynner rose from the streets to save the shorthanded Cougars. 

Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late, we can make it if we run

We weren't in the sun with the 9:00 game, but man, it was a wicked hot killer out there last night!  It was definitely late and we almost made it - again. 

And my car's out back if you're ready to take that long walk

Actually, no need to drive last night; the postgame was just a short walk across the street.

There were ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away

Well, nobody ever gets sent away from our postgame.  In fact, all fans, readers, and neighbors are invited.  Last night's refreshments included pizza rolls and perfectly chilled concoctions of water, hops, and barley courtesy of the Jokewriter.   JRads had brats ready to fill our stomachs and take our minds off the ghost of another close game.

It's a town full of losers, I'm pulling out of here to win

Springsteen's key premise in Thunder Road is:  Do you want to take a chance? On us? On life?  Well, the Cougars get a new life next week as the playoffs begin.   

Ctrl+Z

The undo feature is the handiest command on the computer.  Make a mistake?  Goof something up?  No problem.  Take it all back with quick keystrokes.

Last night would have been a good time to press those sacred buttons to undo the result and start with a fresh field.

The Cougars crashed and had a system malfunction with a 13-3 loss.  Chicken Shack took a different kind of shortcut to victory with a 5 inning game.

We could not copy and paste our excellent performances from previous weeks.  The Cougars desperately needed some F1.  This game will certainly be dragged to the recycling bin.

The highlight of the night was the postgame.  The Fortiers hosted a party so slick that even Steve Jobs would have been impressed. 

By next week we will erase our memory and get the bugs out of our system in order to boot up a victory! 

Season 4, Episode #10: "The Cougar Shack Comes Out Tappin'"

As a kid, what was better than watching your favorite TV program?  How 'bout when characters from that show teamed up with characters from an equally entertaining show?

Think Jetsons meeting the Flinstones.

Or Mork dating Laverne on Happy Days?

Boss Hogg trying to buy the diner from Mel on Alice?

Ricky Stratton from Silver Spoons and Arnold Drummond from Diff'rent Strokes getting into mischief?

Charlie's Angels looking for a thief on the Love Boat?

Even better, how about when Mr. Roarke fulfilled Tattoo's dream of sailing on the Pacific Princess?

Howard Park last night may have even been a bit more like 90210 and Melrose Place combining efforts because Tuesday nights at Howard tend to be soap operas.

Last night, we had the ultimate Howard Park crossover episode as the Tappers and Chicken Shack raised the ratings for the Cougars.

The Cougars needed the crossover cooperation against our crosstown combatant Ethervision.  The programming ended early as McKenzie slaughtered Central 13-2.

The highlight reel was filled with excitement.  The main characters were solid and the guest stars provided the extra dose of drama.

• Danielsen slammed the ball at the dish and picked 'em out of the dirt at first.
• Hoglund continued his batting rampage and clubbed the Clincher all over the park.
• Flannery caught high hard line drives, pop-ups, grounders, relays and was a gem on the diamond.
• Lipinski's swings were top-notch during the game and his effort was top-flight for scheduling a red-eye out of town for after the game.
• Radtke (the Lil' one) was a defensive marvel out there, which included a play when a hard line shot bounced off my hands at SS and Marc, playing 3B, pounced on it and fired it to first base for a key out.
• Bookstaber played a flawless outfield and glided around the bases with ease.
• Boomgaarden was a softball gladiator and played with a broken finger.
• Oh reached for the sky with lofty arcs on the mound and the hard shots at the plate.
• O'Brien ripped the ball and took the extra base - and then some.
• Mayer squashed the bug, crushed the ball and continued to be one of the best left handed power hitters in Chicago.
• Miller had a stellar performance on the grass and showed off his wheels on the dirt.

As with any special feature, the team photographer commemorated this one time event with a cast picture.

But the credits don't stop rolling there.  The viewers of the show were truly the special guest stars as well.  We had a number featured fans join Steve and Cheryl to hoot and holler for the green gang with great gusto.  Julie's wonderful family, including Uncle Jim and Aunt Debbie From Tennessee and Uncle Bill, Aunt Lisa and cousin Billy from Arlington Heights are truly celebrities!

The set designers built a brilliant backdrop for the night and the cast knocked the super script out of the park.  This one might just win an Emmy.

We will be back to regularly scheduled programming in the next episode of the Cougar Chronicles.   The Cougars go head to head with Chicken Shack in prime time next Tuesday.  

July is a sweeps period for Nielsen but the Cougars are planning a plot twist to prevent a season sweep by the Shack.

Cougars Are Not Beavers

In our inaugural season, the then winless Cougars surprised the Misfit Beavers, one of the better teams in the league, with the first victory in our history. 

This year, we have already handed the Tappers their first victory ever and after last night's first inning, we were well on our way to doing it again with the Geriatric Springers.

We had first at-bats and went 1-2-3 in the top of the first.  The Springers dropped 5 on us in the bottom of the first.  Both teams were scoreless in the second.  Then the Cougars roared back.  The game was 6-6 after 3, 10-6 after 4, 12-6 after 5, 14-6 after 6 and 25-6 after we rounded the bases 11 times in the top of the 7th. 

At the postgame, the Cougars punched their ballots for Cougar of the Game.  Our man Hoglund was the runaway winner.  Hogs played three different positions flawlessly and was a home run short of the cycle.  His triple to right-center was a Ruthian bomb and he was the one needing a medic after puffing around the bases.  In fact, Dan played so well that the Springers asked him to sub in the nightcap of their doubleheader.

Flandog won the postgame award for hosting us and sharing his new toy, Night Light Baggo.

Three years ago this week, we played in one of our most memorable games.  Captain Cougar is about to board a plane so click the link below to relive and enjoy our first victory ever.   

ANY GIVEN TUESDAY

Right is Wrong

We all want to be right.  In softball, right is wrong, at least in the mathematical "greater than" expression.

6 > 5

When playing ball, even Republicans would want to be on the left.  The right is reserved for conservative scores.

The Cougars lost by one run for the third time this season.  Unlike other one-run losses this year, in this contest we were the team making the late charge.

The Tappers started the game by pouring five runs on the Cougars in the first two innings.  Over the next four innings the Cougars clawed back and scored four runs while holding our McKenzie rival scoreless.  

In the top of the 7th, our challenger tapped a lone run across the plate to take a 6-4 lead.  In the bottom of the inning, with two outs, the Cougars crushed back to back triples to close the gap to one.  Our last shot was a smash down the third base line that is not caught every day, but this one was.

The Tappers graciously hosted both teams to the postgame party.  We were able to enjoy the wonderful night for a couple hours before the wind and rain blanketed us.  Father Time ended the first Cougars/Tappers match early and Mother Nature ended this postgame early.   

Next week, we will try to be on the left of the relational operator.  Speaking of operators, I did try to call the 1-800-SOFTBALL help desk after the game but the storm knocked out the phone lines.

Click here to enjoy some photos from the night.

1-800-SOFTBALL

A confession.  Losing is hard for me.  It takes a toll on the body and the brain.  Sometimes you just can't get through it alone.  There are times you just need to talk with someone about your problems.  

So after we lost to Gulliver's 11-10 I felt the need to express my feelings.  I was going to talk to Julie about it but I knew she would confirm my thoughts that I am always reasonable, patient and even-keeled.

Instead, I called a little known help desk created specifically to help athletes deal with defeat.  I don't have much to write today so I thought I would just share the transcript.

Captain Cougar:

Hello, is this the help line for struggling athletes?

Pleasant Woman With Beautiful Voice:

Well, yes, it is sir. Are you a professional or an amateur?

Amateur.

Ok, let me transfer you to that department.

Cranky Man with Gravelly Voice:

Rec league amateur help desk, what do you want?

Captain Cougar:

Uh, yes, hi.  I'd like to talk about my game tonight.

Sure you do.  That's all everyone wants to talk about when they call.  Let me guess, you lost a heartbreaker.

Well, yes, you are correct.

You probably lost it in the bottom of the 7th, too.

Yeah, that's right.

Welcome to the club, buddy.

I thought this was a help desk.  You are not being very helpful.

You want some sweet talk then you should have called the 900 number.  Now just tell me the facts.

Well, we came out in the first inning and scored three runs.  Boom and Stabber ripped singles and JD popped a home run.

And what's wrong with that?

Nothing, nothing.  In fact, we held the lead almost all game.

Until the 7th, right?

Yes, yes, hold on, I will get there.  Everyone was playing well.  We had 14 out there tonight and everyone contributed and hit well.  Hogs was injured but he was out there cheering us on.  JD, Bobi, Flandog and The Lip played great defense on the right side of the field.  Boom played an inspired SS.  Diamond Dave was throwing clutch strikes.  Diddy, Stabber, Trouter and Thejokewriter all patrolled the outfield with ease.  We needed both Philthy and Fort to fill the large pants of JOx.  In fact, to honor him, I wore JOx's pants last night.

You wore another man's pants?  Really?

Yes, the pants have never been this dirty.  JOx was a clean player.

What's with the pet names?  Don't you people have real names?

Of course, but it's more fun to have nicknames.  And after a tough loss, I like to think of them as aliases.

So how did the rest of the innings go?  

Everybody was hitting it down and hard and taking the extra base.  In the top of the 6th, we scored four runs to break the tie and extend the lead.

You had a four run lead going into the 7th?

Yes.

What happened?

Gulliver's started hitting and travelling around the bases.  

Nice.

What?

Gulliver's...travels.  Do you always do that?

What?

Don't go Barbarino on me; you know, the cute lines.

It's all I have.  My material is pretty lilliputian.

You can stop now.

Ok.

What I am hearing is that you had a well-played, hard fought match and you lost in the last inning.

It's just hard when they get you in the end.

Enough already.

Ok.  Ok.  Sorry.

What is your team name?

Cougars.

Let me guess, you probably have beat that double entendre into the ground.

Like I said, my reservoir is not deep.

Tell me about these Cougars.  Are they a bunch of schmucks?

No, they are great guys.  I cherish our summers together.

What about your fans?  

Loyal and enthusiastic.

What did you do after the game?

We went to my backyard and drank a few cold ones.

Was everybody pouting?

No, we just analyzed the game looking for spots to improve.

Did the party end quickly because everyone was down?

No.  In fact, we were out there until past midnight.

Don't you people have jobs?

Yes, but I always think a hangover takes your mind off the loss.  

That's a different help desk.

Right.

So let me get this straight, the Cougars played a solid game but the other team eeked it out?

That's right.

Now tell me this, is your record good enough to make the playoffs?

Everyone makes the playoffs.

Huh, everyone?

Yes.

All right, so if everyone makes the playoffs, then there must be some prize money or a trophy for winning the most games?

Nope.

Not even a t-shirt?

Not even a t-shirt.

Let's recap.  Everyone makes the playoffs and there is no prize money, no trophy and not even a t-shirt, right?

Correct.  Winning games and bringing home a title is essentially for pride and I tend to value my self worth by wins and losses.  Self-loathing sets in after a loss.

Listen, I am not the empathetic type, but I did hear that writing your feelings down after a game might help.  Have you ever tried that?

Um, well, yeah, I sorta do that after every game.

You write down your feelings in a journal and then hide it in a desk?

Uh, no, I publish it to the web.

What has this world come to?  Men sharing feelings to the world.   Well, because  you are already disclosing your emotions to the world, what else is wrong in your life?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Right, I am a happy and fortunate guy to have a great family and friends in a wonderful community.

So, it's just the loss that is bringing you down?

Yes.

If losing an old man recreational league softball game is the biggest problem you have, then you have no problems, buddy.

You are right.  Thanks.  Hey, by the way, what was the deal with that pretty sounding woman that answered the call?

That's for the professional athletes.

Oh.

And it's not a help desk.

Huh?  

Set up by Tiger Woods. 

Oh, I get it.

Farewell to a Cougar

As most Cougar fans already know, last night we toasted everyone's favorite Cougar, JOx, and his most loyal fans, Heather, Annie, and Lucy.  This family made an indelible impression in our lives and in our hearts.  Heck, they even added a new word to our lexicon.  Some of you probably remember the definition for Oxerize, given in a previous blog, but here's a review taken directly from the newest edition of Webster's. 

Oxerize (v) ahx-er-ahyz

1. to make larger or more powerful; especially by adding details to

2. to increase in size, extent, effect, sometimes through decadence and extravagance

3. to make Cougars giddy

A simple blog entry to say farewell to our retiring and relocating Cougar catcher would certainly not be enough to send him off.  How can one Oxerize this farewell blog?

By giving our dear departing Cougar his own blog.  Enjoy!

In the early spring of 2008, a softball team was formed.  The main goal of this team was to get a night out, be relatively competitive and quaff a few cold ones after the game.  Yes, this is a story that has been told, but let's walk down memory lane, or rather Spencer Avenue.

When assembling the team, I thought it would be neighborly to ask the new guy across the street to  join the team.  I rang the bell and answering the door was one wife, two kids, two grandparents and one dog but no Jeremy; he was still on his way home from work.  

I introduced myself and said that I came to inquire if the man of the house would like to play softball with my new team.  In unison, their responses of “Jeremy???” were filling my ears with quizzical sing-songy voices. I later found out that Jeremy had never played baseball or softball of any kind. After I offered tissues to wipe their shared tears of laughter, it was Heather that said, “Yes, he will play softball.”  

Just then, Jeremy walked to the front door. The dog was barking, the kids were jumping, the grandparents were talking, the wife was beaming, and the new player found the situation frightening.

Who knew that we had quite a catch on our hands?  Finding Jeremy for the Cougars is like going to the depths of Latin America to find that one ballplayer than you can sign for a low salary but will bring the best out of the whole team.  His only contract demands were a few adult beverages after the game, and, well, he really did not want to play that often.

It's impressive that in a few short years this cat, who had never played the game in his life, now leaves as an all-star.

Let's take a pictorial trip through the stunning and dazzling career of JOx.  

 Although Jeremy didn't often make the 8:00 a.m. Cougar practices, you can see he still managed to transform himself into a slugger.

On the bases he was surprisingly swift.  Fielders could not stop him.

Jeremy was a superstar on the green grass and the green felt.  JOx became one of Wilmette's finest poker players. 

 Oxer hosted us in his garage so we could play poker "South Side Style."

Flynner, JOx and I organized McKenzie's inaugural poker party.

We played poker at Jeremy's until 3am on a summer Friday...

...and we played poker at 3:00pm on a winter snow day.

Oxer also gave us plenty of sartorial satire and merry material.

This is how JOx showed up to play softball when the weather was not so kind.   
Rain Coat.  Check.  Boots.  Check.  Umbrella.  Check. 

Don't confuse Oxerize with exercise.  And don't think this was recent.  Carbon emissions will go down in Wilmette once Jeremy moves.  He would even drive to my house.

In this pic, Oxer practices for Florida weather at the beach.


 

And here, Jeremy shows us how one should appropriately dress in a snowstorm to deliver coffee to a neighbor in need.

How Oxer cools off on a hot day.

 Jeremy giving us the famous eyebrow that says, "really?".






Here is Jeremy showing off his new sweatsuit that will help him fit in with the Florida crowd.

How could we host a proper send-off for this local legend?  We weren't sure we were up for the challenge, but this is the agenda we set for June 7, 2011, Oxer's last game:

1. Order up a lovely summer night without a rain cloud in sight.
2. Tell JOx to go 3-for-3 and score every time at bat. 
3. Make sure Jeremy provides his infamous chatter behind the plate. 
4. Win quickly so we can start the party. 
5. Have ample Chicken Shack delivered to feed the Cougars, the Springers, the Shack, the Tappers, and all Oxer well-wishers. 
6. Recruit Diddy to whip up two pans of his addictive buffalo chicken dip.
7. Have a keg delivered, although this will probably be too much beer for a Tuesday night. (Note that not only was the keg drained, we even had to break out bottled beer.)
8. Get a Deerfield's cake large enough to feed the entire state of Florida.  
9. Hire a cheap photographer, such as my father-in-law, Steve Ots, to capture the festivities.
10. Have Heather give me an almost life-sized poster of JOx finishing his marathon, so that we can still take Ox to the post-games with us.
11. Present Oxer with a Cougar-signed Clincher.  During my speech, joke that I'd throw the ball to him, but he might not catch it.  Throw it to him, have him catch it one-handed with a beer in the other hand. Crowd will go wild. 
12. Relive a perfect night through photos.   (Click this link to view)

It's amazing when things work out exactly as planned.  Thanks to all who were able to come out last night and celebrate Jeremy, Heather, Annie, and Lucy.   

As the Oxer family prepares to move, we will miss them at Howard Park and on Spencer Avenue, but we know that they will bring as much sunshine to Florida as they brought to Wilmette.  Best wishes always, Oxers!