Cougars Win A Thriller

The Cougars beat the Chieftons 5-4 in a 7th inning thriller. (Yes, the black words are links).

Each time we get on the floor at Howard Park it may seem that we change appearances or have eccentric behavior but we are always on a victory tour.

Our opponent last night, the Chieftons, are truly Cougar bait no matter which side of the double entendre you are on. They are all 20 years old and we have beat them twice.

In the first inning, the youthful Chieftons had one run in and had an opening to blow the game open. They had men on first and third with one out and the batter hit a ball to short left field. With fancy footwork, Fortier made a catch like he was wearing a sequined glove and threw the ball home to try and peg the tagging runner. The runner beat the throw by a headscratching distance. This prompted Martin, who is the team's Quincy Jones because he makes us all better, to appeal at third base. Runner out – he left early!

Lipsey leads off the Cougar half of the first with a single and advances to second on a ground out. Fortier rips a hit and Lipsey comes in to tie it up.

Let’s take a break here and give a shout out to Fortier. Steve just spent about 10 days on a business trip in India. He landed yesterday afternoon after a 15 hour flight and with his body clock 10.5 hours ahead of us (yes, India is chronometrically out of sync). He ambles into the game and by the end of the first inning he has a great play and an RBI.

In the second inning, with a Chiefton on first and one run already in, the batter blasts the ball to Flannery at shortcenter. Tim, always on the ball, grasps the ball, gracefully slides his right foot over second base and lets the ball fly to Danielsen, who makes a sweet play at first for the double play. Again, we got out of a jam.

In the bottom of the second, Lipinski scored with a violent slide at the plate that knocked the ball out of the catcher’s hands, which tied it up at 2-2.

In the third inning, Julie gets a phone call from her brother, who is on his way and wants a quick recap and a play-by-play while he is driving. You see, Otsuka prioritized a church meeting over a Cougar game. I thought this was a bad move at first but then thought the Cougars could use some religion outside of the Church of Joe D.

While on the phone with Greg, Julie starts speaking in tongues because I found my higher power and nailed a triple over the left fielder’s head that went off the wall.

Each team traded a couple more runs and entering the seventh inning we were all tied at four thanks to Bobis who scored from second base on a sacrifice fly to centerfield.

As easy as A B C we put the Chieftons down 1 2 3 in the top of the seventh inning.

Now it was our turn and we wanted to start something.

With one out, Lipinski singles and Otsuka gets to first on a fielder's choice.  Up next is Oxer. He shot a hard grounder to the left side of the infield, danced down the line, the throw was made and he beat it. Otsuka, running just as hard, grooved to third base.

Two outs, men on first and third, bottom of the seventh and an injured McDonnell comes to the batter’s box. It’s as easy as black or white. If Philthy McNasty gets a hit we win, otherwise, we go to overtime.

Phil popped the ball through the infield like a king, ran like his hair was on fire and had a hit single for an award winning performance.

Otsuka moonwalked home for the winning run.

That play made me scream in the dugout and I hugged our team’s injured rock star, Melchiorre, dangerously hard.

We went back to my ranch and celebrated by drinking Hoglund’s beer and eating his snacks.

We also relived the game over and over again. "Remember the time… " was a refrain heard quite often.

At the postgame, we held Kangaroo Court and a few fines were levied for infractions incurred over the last few weeks.

We also discussed the Cougar Wives Club outing held at the Fortier residence last week. The Cougars were all very puzzled that we did not get a solid recap from any of our spouses. We just got general comments like, “It was fun. Everyone is so nice.” Hmm, interesting. Why so secretive? Were they plotting against us like some smooth criminal ?

We wondered if they were feeling cougarlicious and wanted to play with our extremely young opponents? Were they plotting how to get their claws on these boy toys?

This assumption was proven true when Fortier found the following sheet in their recycling bin in his alley under all the bottles of wine.

Yup, our female Cougars seem to be on the prowl and we may need to keep a tight leash on them unless we can get recap of the next event.

The male Cougars always let the spouses know what we did the night before by putting it in print and including pictures. Last night was no exception.

The Cougar postgames are always second to none. We still lead the postgame power rankings.

It is a fact that the Cougar is at the top of the food chain in an ecosystem. A new type of creature exposed itself last night at the Cougar postgame to learn our skills and share its eating habits.

This intriguing beast is called a Hitman.

The Hitman is a species that preys on chicken. Last night, the Hitmen celebrated their victory with the Cougars and shared their kill.

These predators do not speak when they eat; they only grunt. Here are two Hitmen devouring their chicken.

The postgame celebration lasted into the wee morning hours once again and we didn’t stop til we had enough.