Not Joking Around

Going into last night's game the Cougars had one win and two losses.  Our goal was to get to par and even up our record. 

Just the word par has Melchiorre wincing.  You see, our designated second lead-off hitter was an early scratch from the game because he was run over by a golf cart this weekend and spent a few hours in the ER.

Because it was a 9:00pm game and he had so much such confidence in the Cougars, he decided to take a snooze during the contest and instead be the hero of the postgame.

Like the game of golf, softball is a very dangerous sport.  As the Cougars rolled up to the field for our game we saw an injured Chicken Shacker.  Witzy has been on fire in the field lately but was forced to stop, drop, and roll after he took a fresh Clincher to the head.

The Cougars were safe and alert in our match against Ethervision and won 14-4.  We had outstanding play by the entire team and here are some of the highlights.

Our lead-off hitter, Bookstaber, started the game off with a single to right field.  Well, for most people it would be a single.  Our own Handsome Dan glided easily into second base with his swift feet for a double and soon after scored our first run.  Stabber pounded the ball all night and had four hits.

Lipsey also racked up four hits and scored each time.  All this with a bruised sternum suffered last Friday night in the coed league.

McDonnell and Lipinski each racked up three hits driving in key runs to keep the momentum going during the two innings when we batted around and dropped five runs each time.  

Dr. Phil even had a Martin-like slide into third to knock the ball out of the fielder's hands, leading to an eventual run.  Philthy is doing all this with a cracked bone in his phinger. 

The all-star on the field last night was Hoglund.  Twice with the bases loaded Dan had crucial hits driving in four runs.  In the field, his play was stellar including an excellent rundown as well as a double play (yes, I know the ump called the runner safe but we Cougars know that dude was so out).

After the big victory, we moseyed on over to the best front porch in Wilmette.  The postgame was an awesome affair and Dave and Barb always put on a great spread and treat the Cougars like champions...which we are.  

Cooked up for the Cougars were sausage, hot dogs, nachos, avacado, peppers and all the fixins'.

Like Johnny Carson, who celebrated his last show 20 years ago this week, our own Diamond Dave is the king of late night.  

What would late night be without a little comedy?  Enter Lipsey, a.k.a the Jokewriter.  In the past, Cougar postgame topics of discussion have ranged from poker to the EU crisis to Wilmette building code.  Last night's topic was Lipsey's joke writing. 

Did you hear that Eugene Polley, the man who invented the remote control, died yesterday?  If that's not a Lipsey joke waiting to happen, then I don't know what is.  The Cougars are always willing to help a teammate out and came up with these punchlines to complete Lipsey's potential joke:

• Yeah, he must've pushed the wrong numbers.
• They're planning to bury his ashes in the couch.
• His batteries must've run out.
• He couldn't get the pause button on death to work.
• They had trouble finding his body, but it was in between the cushions.

There were lots of jokes flying at the post-game, but we will not be jokin' around on the field next week when we have the championship rematch against the Brown Stars.