Dear Cougars,
After 18 incredible seasons, I’ve decided the time has come to step away from organizing, managing, and guiding this team that has meant so much to me.
This was not an impulsive decision. It’s something I’ve been slowly coming to terms with over the last few years. I’ve wrestled with it, reflected on it, and ultimately made peace with it. And now feels like the right moment to share it.
Running the Cougars has been one of the great privileges of my life. Eighteen years is a long time. That’s a lot of Tuesdays. A lot of summer nights. A lot of sunsets over Howard Park, and a lot of postgame laughs, rants, and reflections, some of which found their way into blogs, others that just lived in the dirt and grass of the field.
I poured my whole heart into this team and it gave me more than I ever expected.
Age and a series of injuries over the last few years have slowed my roll. A burst renal artery, two elbow surgeries, and a hamstring ripped from my pelvis, which gifted me four sitbone screws and fiery nerve pain, have all changed the way I move through life.
Ever since that hamstring injury struck me down and essentially ended my on-field 16-inch softball career, my energy has been different, something has been stirring in me, and I have sensed that my chapter as leader is closing.
My love for this team hasn’t diminished. Just the opposite - my love for the Cougars is deeper than ever. But I’ve learned, first as a player, and now as a leader, that there comes a moment when wanting something is no longer the same as being able to do it well. I stepped away from playing when my body told me it was time. I’m listening to that same voice now in leadership.
Letting go isn’t easy. In fact, it’s quite brutal. This team has been part of my identity for almost two decades - a third of my life. It’s been woven into my weeks, my summers, my soul. Julie, Miranda, and Charley have all seen my tears over this decision…multiple times. The truth is, I love this team deeply. But like all seasons, for me, this one has come to an end.
I’m proud of what we all built here. Not because of the wins, though we had our share. But because of the spirit. The community. The wonderful way we became unforgettable. There have always been teams with better records. But there’s never been a team like ours. That matters to me. It always will.
Right now you’re saying, “Oh wow, Captain Cougar - that’s quite the bombshell!” And you’re also asking, “What’s next?” Well, I’m glad you asked!
The title of this blog is: A New Beginning. The title ends with a period because my time as captain has come to a full stop. While I have reached my final inning, we all know the game continues even after a substitution.
So for the Cougars, let’s write it with a question mark: A New Beginning?
It could be a new beginning, or at least it is an important question worth asking. There are many ways to run this team, just as there are many ways to play the game, and I’m genuinely hoping to see someone, or a few someones, step up to the plate and help keep Cougar Nation rolling along. Running a team doesn’t have to be a solo act. It can be a team effort, the same way it is on the field.
I’m sharing this months ahead of Opening Day on purpose, to give everyone time to think about whether this means enough to step forward. I hope so because I’d be honored to be a social member… or, if titles are being handed out, Captain Cougar Emeritus has a nice ring to it.
Take some time. Give it some thought. Talk to each other. Let me know.
But if our story ends here, let it end with gratitude. Let it end with the knowledge that we did something good, something that won’t be duplicated, and something that will live in our hearts forever.
With all my heart,
Rads
