Cougars: Down the Toilet

We all have had a crappy job at some point in our career.

In my early days, I pumped gas, loaded boxes in semi-trailers, and delivered soda pop. All good grit-building jobs.

My worst job by far, however, was cleaning the gas station just off an exit ramp on I-80. Everyone from the interstate was stopping by to do their disgusting business in our restrooms. There’s a reason people use “gas station bathroom” as a comparative for the filthiest space you can conjure up. Ugh. So gross but I worked hard to make the restroom shine.

During graduate school, Julie worked as a salesperson at a women’s clothing store in downtown Evanston. The rule in that shop was that whoever had the lowest sales for the week had to clean the bathroom. Well, when you’re only working 8-10 hours per week, you’re destined to be the one with the lowest sales, so Julie ended up begrudgingly cleaning that bathroom each and every week.

What has me thinking about these dirty jobs? It must be Tuesday’s crappy weather and the equally crappy result.

It was a cold, foggy, and drizzly night and the infield slushed like a porta potty reservoir.

First Inning

Old Neighborhood Grill opened the game with by lacing two straight singles. Then, to get us out of the jam, Martini and Li’l Rads pulled the “Ol’ Wheel Play” to double up the baserunners.

You see, in our league, when runners are leading off on first and second base, only the lead runner can advance a base if the pitcher attempts a pick off. So if the pitcher attempts to pick off the runner at second base, that runner can choose to get back to second or advance to third.

If the pitcher tries to pick off the runner at first base while there is a baserunner on the second base, the baserunner at first is not allowed to advance.

In this case, with runners at first and second, Martini threw the ball out of Li’l Rads’ reach at first base, the ball rolled away, and the baserunners circled the bags. Li’l Rads grasped the ball, threw it back to Martini who tagged first base and threw it to JD at second base who tagged it for the second out.

Our opponent was not happy and thought it bush league. That’s ok, I get it because we felt the same way when Shack made that play on us 12 years ago. Since then, we use the “Ol’ Wheel Play” every week and get at least one target a year.

Here is a quick 15 second recap of the play.

In the bottom of the inning only Fort got a hit.

Cougars 0 ONG 0

Second Inning

ONG scored one and left a couple on base.

Only JD got a hit in our turn.

Cougars 0 ONG 1

Third Inning

The big bats came out for ONG as they scored four with some towering shots.

Mirroring the previous two innings, Flandog rapped our only hit.

Cougars 0 ONG 5

Fourth Inning

Our defense, led by Boom’s outstanding CF play, only allowed one hit.

Fort walked and was brought around to score on hits by JD and Jimmy.

Cougars 1 ONG 5

Fifth Inning

Those dadgum ONG big bats came out again and they scored another four runs on two homers.

Flandog got his second hit of the night and was left stranded on the bases.

Cougars 1 ONG 9

Sixth Inning

Our foe scored one.

Fort and Martini singled and JD walked. Joker and Jimmy hit into fielder’s choices to bat in two runs. Then Li’l Rads, Flandog, and Pastor all singled to drive in two more. Big game for Flandog going 3-3 on the night!

Cougars 5 ONG 10

Seventh Inning

ONG pushed a couple across the plate to extend the lead.

We staged a late rally with hits by Rads, Fort and Martini to score three. Fort was perfect at the plate with two walks, two hits and three runs scored on the night. Our rally came up short and the Cougars went down the drain.

Cougars 7 ONG 12

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We’re gonna have to flush that game down the toilet and sanitize our game plan for the doubleheader next week. We need to have a successful number one and number two.

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Game Video

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