Down the Toilet

We all have had a crappy job at some point in our career. 

In my early days, I pumped gas, loaded boxes in semi-trailers, and delivered soda pop.  All good grit-building jobs. 

My worst job by far, however, was cleaning the gas station just off an exit ramp on I-80.  Everyone from the interstate was stopping by to do their disgusting business in our restrooms.  There’s a reason people use “gas station bathroom” as a comparative for the filthiest space you can conjure up. Ugh.  So gross but I worked hard to make the restroom shine.

During graduate school, Julie worked as a salesperson at a women’s clothing store in downtown Evanston.  The rule in that shop was that whoever had the lowest sales for the week had to clean the bathroom.  Well, when you’re only working 8-10 hours per week, you’re destined to be the one with the lowest sales, so Julie ended up begrudgingly cleaning that bathroom each and every week.

What has me thinking about these dirty jobs? It must be Tuesday’s crappy weather and the equally crappy result.

It was a cold, foggy, and drizzly night and the infield slushed like a porta potty reservoir.

First Inning

Old Neighborhood Grill opened the game with by lacing two straight singles.  Then, to get us out of the jam, Martini and Li’l Rads pulled the “Ol’ Wheel Play” to double up the baserunners. 

You see, in our league, when runners are leading off on first and second base, only the lead runner can advance a base if the pitcher attempts a pick off.  So if the pitcher attempts to pick off the runner at second base, that runner can choose to get back to second or advance to third.

If the pitcher tries to pick off the runner at first base while there is a baserunner on the second base, the baserunner at first is not allowed to advance.

In this case, with runners at first and second, Martini threw the ball out of Li’l Rads’ reach at first base, the ball rolled away, and the baserunners circled the bags.  Li’l Rads grasped the ball, threw it back to Martini who tagged first base and threw it to JD at second base who tagged it for the second out.

Our opponent was not happy and thought it bush league.  That’s ok, I get it because we felt the same way when Shack made that play on us 12 years ago.  Since then, we use the “Ol’ Wheel Play” every week and get at least one target a year.  

Here is a quick 15 second recap of the play.

In the bottom of the inning only Fort got a hit.

Cougars 0  ONG 0

Second Inning

ONG scored one and left a couple on base.

Only JD got a hit in our turn.

Cougars 0  ONG 1

Third Inning

The big bats came out for ONG as they scored four with some towering shots.

Mirroring the previous two innings, Flandog rapped our only hit.

Cougars 0  ONG 5

Fourth Inning

Our defense, led by Boom’s outstanding CF play, only allowed one hit.

Fort walked and was brought around to score on hits by JD and Jimmy.

Cougars 1  ONG 5

Fifth Inning

Those dadgum ONG big bats came out again and they scored another four runs on two homers.

Flandog got his second hit of the night and was left stranded on the bases.

Cougars 1  ONG 9

Sixth Inning

Our foe scored one.

Fort and Martini singled and JD walked.  Joker and Jimmy hit into fielder’s choices to bat in two runs.  Then Li’l Rads, Flandog, and Pastor all singled to drive in two more.  Big game for Flandog going 3-3 on the night!

Cougars 5  ONG 10

Seventh Inning

ONG pushed a couple across the plate to extend the lead.

We staged a late rally with hits by Rads, Fort and Martini to score three.  Fort was perfect at the plate with two walks, two hits and three runs scored on the night.  Our rally came up short and the Cougars went down the drain.

Cougars 7  ONG 12

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We’re gonna have to flush that game down the toilet and sanitize our game plan for the doubleheader next week.  We need to have a successful number one and number two.

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Game Video

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Game Photos

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Injured and retired came out to cheer and celebrate with their mates!

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Postgame Photos

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Next Game

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June 4th

6:45pm vs Chicken Shack

7:45pm vs Tito's

Prime Time Rhyme

On Tuesday the Cougars played Pitches

The goal was to give their game plan glitches

Bad guys up first and got zero

We scored eight and all a hero

And showed them they were too big for their britches

Our rival scored eight over the next six innings

The Cougars worked hard to stop their winnings

We scored once more to make it nine

Stomped on home plate and made them whine

And the men in green departed the field with wide grinnings

Everybody raked and was a ball blaster

Flandog, Rads, Fort, JD, Li’l, Joker and Pastor

Kevin and Jimmy were studs in left and right

With Tiny Rads and Hogs coaching us all night

Martini pitched like a champ and is always the master

We went to the postgame to relax and cook out

A great way to rejoice and relive the bout

We had cold drinks and grilled meat

And we reveled in Pitches defeat

With the Cougars, win or lose, the fun remains no doubt

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Game Video

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The Cougars scored eight runs in the first inning and batted around the lineup.  Pitches scattered eight runs over the seven innings.  A bases loaded double play scored a run for the Cougars in the third inning, which turned out to be the winning run.  Oh, and we won our first late 8:45pm game!

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Game Photo

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Jimmy and Peter were all-stars during the game and hosted a perfect postgame too!

Sleeping On The Job

We were broke.  Real broke.  Like two car payments broke, maxed out credit cards broke, and student loans larger than our mortgage broke. 

A real losing situation.

It was the late summer of 1995, and Julie and I were one year out of college, just married, and about to move from our Lincoln Park apartment into a newly constructed suburban Atlanta house.

My company offered several weeks of temporary housing as part of the relocation package.  Julie was working in Chicago, and she would move down when the house was ready. 

Well, my relocation allowance ran out a couple weeks before our new house was to be finished.  Because we were on a shoestring budget, I chose to pay for a cheap motel.  After one night at the scuzzy accommodations, I knew I couldn’t stay there again, but I also couldn’t afford anywhere nicer.

My solution?  Sleeping in my office and showering in the building’s gym for a couple weeks.  So I went to buy an alarm clock, blanket, and a pillow for my temporary abode.

At the time, I was young and ambitious, starting work early in the morning and toiling well into the night.  Heck, I was already the first one in the office and the last one to leave, so no one was ever the wiser about my office overnights.

A winning decision saved us money and put us on the path to financial success. 

Why tell this story today?  Well, the Cougars start the Tuesday workdays early in the morning and toil all day until the game begins.  The late 8:45pm games have been a real losing situation. 

Our only victory was an early game and the late games have us sleeping on the job.  The path to success starts next week!

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Game Recap

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The Cougars started the game with a Boom!  On his 44^th birthday, Chad, the guy who used to be the young one on the team, started us off with a single.  Rads grounded out moving Boom to third and Martini singled to drive in Boom.  Hits by JD and Joker drove in Martini.  Two runs for the Cougars.

We scored again in the third inning on back-to-back-to-back shots by Martini, JD and Joker to score a run.

We had other scattered hits by JD (3 for 3 on the night!), Kevin (an all-star offensive and defensive pickup for the Cougars), and Pastor Ted (no amount of praying could get us more runs).

On defense, we shut the Tappers down in the first inning and all they needed was the second inning to get the win because they scored 7 and then crossed the plate 4 more times in the game. 

Cougars go down 11-3.

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Game Video

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Game Photos

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Patrick looks good in green!!!

Li'l Rads has it all under control!

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Pregame and Postgame Photos

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Martini, JD and Li'l Rads playing PIG at the pregame.

Martini and Li'l Rads getting the ball from under the porch.

Perfect postgame hosted by Jeff and Tonya for the Tappers and Cougars.

Green Jacket Masters

A gust of fresh frozen spring air whooshed through the greens as we walked our Magnolia Lane for our doubleheader at Howard Park on Tuesday night.

The Cougars, the aging masters of 16-inch softball, put on our warm green jackets and went to work with our long drives to play best ball.

Most of the Cougars are on the senior tour now but there was one player, who was just an amateur last year, and led us to our first victory of the season.

Charley “Tiny Rads” Radtke led the Cougars to our first victory of the season in the opening game by batting 4-4 with multiple runs and RBIs and played defense at third base like a major winner. In the late game loss, he was 3-4 at the plate with his only out being a productive one that drove in an RBI and he remained a wall at third base stopping every ball in his direction.

In fact, on the game video, our opponent can be heard saying, “he is too young and athletic” and “hey guys, don’t hit it there!”  You can hear our team say, “he’s a highlight reel out there!” 

Here is 90 seconds of his dazzling defense and the corresponding commentary.  

In two games of stroke play, the Cougars beat Ready by Tuesday 9-6 in the opener and then landed in the rough and lost to five-time defending champions Miller Time 14-8.

With a young tiger like Charley leading the Cougars, Tuesdays remain a tradition unlike any other.

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Game Recaps

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Cougars vs. Ready By Tuesday

First Inning

Most people stand square but Charley (Tiny Rads) stood in the tee box with his unique and proven open stance and started us off with a line shot single.  His father (Rads) hit a fade to right center and Tiny Rads blasted off and rocketed all the way from first base to score.

Ready by Tuesday was exactly that with their first three hitters scoring.

Cougars 1  RBT 3

Second Inning

JD singled down the fairway and then stole second base and was left buried in the sand.

RBT got up and down with two hits and no runs.

Cougars 1  RBT 3

Third Inning

Ivey and Pastor Ted crushed singles that left divots when they landed.  Then Tiny Rads singled to load up the bases.  Rads shaped a shot that was a sacrifice fly to center to score Ivey.  Fort then singled to drive in Pastor Ted and Tiny Rads.

Same as last inning for RBT.  Two hits and no runs.

Cougars 4  RBT 3

Fourth Inning

Marc (Li’l Rads) hit the sweet spot and singled and stayed right at first.

Good defense put RBT down 1-2-3.  This was all Tiny Rads at third base and some Li’l Rads at first base.

Cougars 4  RBT 3 

Fifth Inning

Boom used his long iron to hit a clean single but his quick feet and head first slide turned it into a double.  Then Tiny Rads singled to drive him in for our lone inning run.

Our opponent had the yips and we let up no runs.

Cougars 5  RBT 3

Sixth Inning

Fort lofted a single and then scored on hits by JD and Li’l Rads and Cubitt.

Another scoreless inning for our foe.

Cougars 6  RBT 3

Seventh Inning

Ivey hooked a single and then we had consecutive hits by Boom, Tiny Rads, Rads and Fort.  It was like we were at a driving range and we scored three crucial runs.

Why were our runs crucial?  Because RBT hit a three run moonshot homer in the bottom of the inning.  They got one other hit but we were able to thankfully shut the rally down.

Cougars 9  RBT 6

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Cougars vs. Miller Time

First Inning

We teed off first against the five-time defending league champs.  Boom waggled the bat and led us off with a hit and Charley did the same.  Rads hit a worm-burner into a fielder’s choice forcing Charley out but scoring Boom.  Fort skyed a double and scored Rads and then went to third on an error.  Martin drove in Fort for our third run.  JD and Li’l Rads also got hits and were left on base.

Miller Time scored three and left three on base.

Cougars 3  Miller Time 3

Second Inning

We mirrored our first inning with three more runs.  Ivey uncoiled and led us off again with a single and Boom gripped it and ripped it as well.  Tiny Rads beat out an infield single to load ‘em up.  Rads laced a single up the middle to unload all three bases.

Once again, Miller Time scored three.

Cougars 6  Miller Time 6

Third Inning

We got three more…outs that is.  We went down 1-2-3.

Miller Time scored four.

Cougars 6  Miller Time 10

Fourth Inning

Ivey did it again – yanked a single to the left side.  Pastor Ted hit a lob shot and moved him over to two.  Boom beat out an infield single moving Ivey to third.  Tiny Rads, in his only out of the night, hit into a fielder’s choice but drove in Ivey for an RBI.

Two hits and an infield fly double play by the Cougars leads to nowhere for our opponent.

Cougars 7  Miller Time 10

Fifth Inning

Cougars score one with Fort, Martini, JD and Li’l Rads all pulling out the driver.

Miller scores three.

Cougars 8  Miller Time 13

Sixth Inning

With a sweet swing arc, Tiny Rads gets his seventh hit of the night but did not touch home plate.

Miller Time with a bomb to score one.

Cougars 8  Miller Time 14

Seventh Inning

The Cougars pressed and couldn’t make the magic happen in a come back from behind victory.

Final score was Cougars with a snowman 8 and Miller Time 14 

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Game Videos

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Game Photos

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Masters in age and skill, huge props to the three studs who played ready golf when our team numbers were under par.  

Cubitt

Ivey

Hyser

The night sky was also a star of the evening.

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19th Hole Photos

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Li'l Rads treated us to a Champions Dinner full of Bdubs grub at Butler Cabin.

Fastest and handsomest 1-2 combination in the league.