Cougars: The Not Ready for Prime Time Players

Let’s run the numbers:

2 Games we lost last night.

3 Games we lost in the last two weeks.

11 The total number of runs we scored last night in both games.

17 The number of runs each of our opponents scored last night.

23 The number of runs last week’s opponent scored.

47 The number of wheels in Martini’s garage.

101 The primer softball class we need to retake with Joe D.

911 The emergency sub number we called for Pastor Ted and Bruno.

2011 The last time we won a championship.

3853 The amount of sports gear in Martini's garage.

Even with our well rounded athleticism, we can all agree that the Cougars have certainly not been prime time material.

So, how about a recap?

Like with any math problem, we need to show our work. Here you go...

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Last week, we lost 23-1 against Miller Time. Our lone run was a supersonic Boom headfirst slide into home plate.

Last night we lost both ends of a doubleheader. The first game against Templeton Rye was 17-4 and the nightcap was a 17-7 rematch against Miller Time.

Here are some prime examples of our efforts:

Hogs had 3 hits on the night with a couple screamers to the gap.

Pastor Ted thumped the ball and covered 1B and 2B with ease.

Thejokewriter knocked in multiple runs even with a pulled hammy.

Bruno ignored the No Guns sign at the park by showing off his arm strength.

Ski sloped the ball to the outfield valleys.

Boom took line drives to the heart in left field and beat out several hits.

Martini was an infield marvel while playing pitcher, catcher and shortstop.

JD dinged a homer and made a gliding catch in centerfield that would have made John Fogerty proud.

Bobi demolished the ball and bagged three doubles.

Captain Cougar fulfilled a lifelong dream by pitching at Howard Park.

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Even after two weeks of losses, we still found time to party and get primed like Euclid.

Last week the Philthy Phamily hosted the Cougars to a Mediterranean feast with a Pita Inn postgame. We also celebrated the anniversary of Dr. Phil’s birth.

After last night's game, the Martini family went with their Ohio roots and served up Cincinnati Chili and Coney Dogs. Like Philthy, TMart was also celebrating the prime of her life.