Come again another day
That couplet was heard throughout the streets of Wilmette last night. Parents and children alike were desperately chanting this nursery rhyme to ward off the raindrops. The liquid descending from the sky overpowered the mantra repeated by Cougar Nation so a new one was written.
A tussle was had between Mother Goose and Mother Nature
The latter won and the Cougars got to wager
Joe D. said to continually backup, have a contingency
So the team played poker thanks to Oxer and Lipsey
Oxer, who was pinch hitting in the postgame for a travelling Fortier, was worried about the downpour and the potential impact on the postgame al fresco. He needed advice from a wise man.
He ran across the street to ring the bell of our neighbor, who is a local meteorological television star, in order to obtain the preeminent forecast on the North Shore. The response he received was as circular as the hydrologic cycle, “It should be clear unless it rains.”
Oxer then recollected a night last summer when he quaffed many a lager while talking to a South Side Confucius. Here was a guru that could give him guidance.
He dialed up Nick Bobis, affectionately known as Dad to one Cougar and as Coach to the three other Cougars who all received tutelage from Coach as youngsters in our shared hometown of South Holland.
The Cougars were fortunate to have Coach join the team for a night last year. Nick regaled us with humor, insight, rules to live by and a handful of Chinese proverbs.
His memory was a little hazy, but Oxer said he remembered talking to Coach about going to the bathroom four times and it seeming sagacious.
Oxer was mistaken. They did not discuss kidney functions while he was damaging his liver.
Coach reminded our swift backstop about the genuine Four P’s: Proper Planning Prevents Problems.
This maxim will preclude mustard from ever getting on your shirt (inside joke). Coach ended the call with Cougars’ favorite proverb “Man who walk through turnstyle sideways is going to…wait, wait, wait this is a family blog…sorry, you will have to look it up.
Oxer, adding poker as a fifth P, found quarters for us to bet dollars.
Lipsey, with the family on vacation, offered up his address for a night of high stakes poker and some homonymic conflict.
Homina what? Walnut Avenue is the home of our resident comedian but who knew that the Cougar version of “Who’s on First” was playing at his house last night.
Scene 1: Radtke emails Lipinski to bring chips to poker game.
Scene 2: Lipinski walks in with almonds and peanuts.
Radtke: “Dave, where are the chips?”
Lipinski: “We didn’t have any in the house so I brought nuts.”
Radtke: “How will we bet with nuts?”
The Cougars love snack food so this was an understandable comedic communicative clash.
In a reversal of innings, Martin came out of the bullpen before the game started and provided the save by bringing the tokens. We then all stood for the National Anthem and our poker game was underway.
As the cards were being shuffled, we had an unexpected delay. Peter surprised his guests with a heaping quantity of Chinese dumplings and quickly added a sixth P. Potstickers were all the rage and bookended the nighttime noshing.
Cougars consumed. Delay done. Cards circulated.
Radtke deals the first hand of the night. Lipinski is in big blind for $20, Martin in the small blind for $10. Pre-flop betting starts with Lipsey. He antes the $20. Bobis folds. Melchiorre calls. Oxer folds. Radtke folds. Lipinski throws in $10 more to call.
The flop brings forth two kings and a two. More betting and folding. Only Lipsey and Melchiorre remain.
The turn card is a six of hearts. Betting continues. The river card is a king of hearts.
A quick review of the community cards shows a possible heart flush as well as four of a kind.
Folks, we have a showdown.
Lipsey goes all in. Melchiorre, too nice a guy to bluff, asks, “Are you sure?” Pete says, “I’m sure.” Dave calls Peter’s all-in.
They both flip their cards. Peter hit his heart flush but Dave had the fourth king to take the pot leaving our host to decide to cook up more potstickers or to buy back in.
Normally when people pull quads, they do not feel this good. Dave’s homonymic non-injury is prompting me to digress a bit (A bit? Some would say the Cougar blog is one longwinded tangent).
The Cougar disabled list is not looking pretty.
First, we have Melchiorre. Yesterday he had a tooth pulled in the morning and showed up at the poker game with an icepack on his jaw. He also was at the bone doctor yesterday because he has an unattached ligament in the tip of his marriage verification finger. Today, he is getting sinus surgery to have nasal polyps removed. Even with his body being dissected like a junior high frog, he was ready to pitch last night.
Second, we have Philthy. Our team dentist risks life and limb out on the playing field. You have to remember that this guy makes a living with his hands and he is playing a sport that has produced fingers as crooked as Chicago politics. Last year, Phil was thumped to the dirt with a hip check from a plump first baseman. Last weekend, Dr. McDonnell, took a nasty hit during the McK/Harper soccer match (McK won!) and now has a hematoma (collection of blood) inside his ribcage pressing on his left lung as well as a fractured rib.
Otsuka and I have just returned from a weekend family houseboat trip and are now suffering from sea legs. Our dizziness has our teammates worried that we will run the bases like Jimmy Piersall. Here I will make it easy for the readers. Click below. http://espn.go.com/classic/s/piersalljimadd000817.html
Like typical Cougar Poker, play was slow and interrupted often by music requests and food consumption. Fast forward to the end and we see that Lipinski came in third and Oxer came in second.
Poetically, the son of the sage, Jeff, was the epitome of another Four P’s – Perfect Poker Playing Pays.
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