"You really improved from last year."

"Wow, you have a lot of work to do to get better!"
- Miranda Radtke, upon hearing the final score from the 2008 opener

"You really improved from last year."
- Miranda Radtke, upon hearing the final score from the 2009 opener

She is right; we have improved. We made a valiant effort but lost the game 11-10 in an extra frame.

We were cellar dwellers for most of last year, so it is impossible for us to do a collective Joe Charboneau imitation in our sophomore season. Our improved performance can be attributed to one of two things. It is either a fundamental improvement or a stochastic chance. For the Cougars, I am going to rack up our better-quality play to devotion and enthusiasm and not a regression to the mean.

In our first game last year, our skulls were jiggling like bobblehead dolls just trying to get out of the first inning. This year we had the first crack at the batter’s box. From the outset, we stepped to the dish, took our licks and hung a crooked number on the Brown Stars for a 2-0 lead. The Lipsey - Martin daily double is the top 1-2 punch in the league. Their ability to scamper around the bases and tally runs has opponents quivering.

The game was a back and forth affair. And like a typical family holiday gathering, we exchanged shots and gifts. We expressed our gratitude for their gifts by circling the bases. We also donated a few runs to them but considering our origins, this was the second best game we have ever played. Even more impressive is that we performed this way during the launch of the season.

We do not have the size and strength to nail the Clincher like the middle of the Brown Stars’ lineup. They sledgehammered the ball with flames trailing to the outfield. We are a station-to-station team. We did a great job of manufacturing runs with solid contact hitting, by advancing runners, taking advantage of errors, and alert baserunning. We still have work to do because the LOB category in our box score was too high.

Those members of Cougar Nation not in attendance missed what could be the greatest play of the year. The Brown Stars had a runner on first base and their batter smoked a shot to right center field. Philthy McNasty tracked it down and armed a throw to directly to the cut-off man Bobis. Bobis crow hopped and missled the ball to the bull's eye on Flannery's chest. At the plate, Flannery had one eye on the 16” sphere arriving from the right and the other eye on the 200lb sprinter hauling from the left. Flannery snared the ball from the air as the runner slid and he deftly applied the tag for the out. My entire family knows that my favorite play in baseball is the play at the plate. If I had to fill out a comment card after the game, it simply would have read, “Terrific!”

As you know, a few weeks ago I set three goals for the team: win six games, score at least eight runs a game and not get slaughtered. Insert Meatloaf song title here (you figure it out).

Speaking of getting slaughtered, a quick look at the results from last night’s contests show that all expansion teams got beat up with a collective score of 81-7. In fact, the Maple Street Marauders lost 40-0 to the Hitmen. In our first game, we lost only 35-1 and it was to Keefe, the league champions. I know it is not right to take delight in others plight, but wow, what a night.

We play one of those expansion teams next week. I was a bit let down that we did not come out on top last night but will be distraught if we do not destroy the D38-Bombers.

Kangaroo Court
The kangaroo court is a new weekly postgame feature. A kangaroo court in baseball is set up to punish players for errors and other mistakes on the field, as well as for being late for a game/practice, not wearing proper attire, or having a messy locker in the clubhouse. Fines are determined and allotted by the judge and at the end of the year, the money collected is put towards a team party. We will focus mainly on non-playmaking violations, unless the error is so egregious we can not ignore it (such as my overthrow to Lake MIchigan last year). For our kangaroo court, I have nominated our sole attorney on the team, Greg, or as he will now be known, Judge Diddy.

Well, one week down and we have had our first team infraction. The guilty party was not present when he was called out so we will put him in front of the judge next week. Please note that even if the defendant did get on base almost every at-bat, it does not offset the alleged crime.

Plaintiff: Cougars
Defendant: Lipsey
Crime: Not wearing any external green clothing and for his yellow dickey.

Next Week
The game is Tuesday at 6:45pm. Beer is on Martin and there was talk of a postgame poker game. Unless it is warm, we will need indoor accommodations – all volunteer hosts will be considered. I think this softball team is turning into a poker club. Please note that league rules dictate that I post this link.
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/

So far, I have Trout, Radtke M., and Flannery as out. Let me know if you are in or out.

Housekeeping
Full schedule and week one results are now up and running on the park district site. The good news is that we are tied with Keefe.
http://www.wilmettepark.org/sports/league_details.cfm?lsportid=3&lLeagueId=135