Cougars: 05/2022

Howard Park | Spring Splendor

The Cougars rang the opening bell as we began our 15th season. We were ready to make markets and trounce our counterparties.

Let’s review the year-to-date performance of our portfolio.

Cougars vs Buy Low | 05.10.22

Our first foe, Buy Low, is a new and young team in the league. They had never played as a team and some had never played 16-inch softball. It was their IPO.

In the top of the first inning, the youngsters came out charging like bulls and the Cougars had a bear of a time ending their run. The first three batters loaded the bases, they batted nine and scored four. Wow! What a way to start.

In the bottom of the inning the Cougars started our climb out of the hole. Boom walked and Charley went long by bombing a homer. Ev slammed a single but was stranded. Cougars halved the score.

Cougars losing 4-2.

In the second inning, Buy Low kept the ball rolling and scored three more to make it 7-2.

In the bottom of the second inning, as Buy Low was putting us down 1-2-3, I sat on the bench with Philthy and Fort and agonized about why an upstart team was just crushing us. Philthy offered some sage wisdom and equaled it to hitting the links for the first time in spring. You’re just happy to be out there and not thinking about anything, especially your swing. Then after a few holes, you start thinking and that’s when it all goes wrong. Right then, Fort said Yes, that happened to me this year!

In the third inning, we slowed their roll and got ‘em down in order. They reciprocated in the bottom of the inning.

We deflated their assets in the top of the fourth. No hits. No runs.

In the bottom of the fourth inning, down 7-2, our stock started to rise.

We notched three to make it 7-5. SRads walked. CRads singled up the middle for men on first and third. Ev crushed a sac fly to score SRads. Fort banged a triple to deep left center field to score CRads. JD followed with a hard liner scoring Fort. Bobi singled for two men on but we stranded them. Cougars losing by two.

In the top of five, we did it again and shut our opponent down in order.

Bottom of five, down two. Crawdaddy led off with a soaring triple down the left field line. Pastor Ted nailed an infield single for a RBI and then SRads singled. With two men on, Charley tripled scoring two. Evan lasered a liner to score two more. Fort advanced Ev for a tally and JD walked. Cougars scored five.

Cougars up 10-7.

We shut Buy Low down again 1-2-3 in the sixth. They should have sold high.

In our half of the sixth inning, Li’l walked and Crawdaddy moved him to 2B. Pastor walked. With men on one and two, Boom singled scoring one. Here’s a little insider information – that is a soon-to-be important run.

Top 7. Cougars winning by three 11-8.

Li’l Rads made a sweet grab on a scorched grounder for the unassisted first out. Then the next four hitters singled scoring one and closing the spread to 11-9. The next hitter flied to Ev for the second out.

Ok, let’s recap. Top of the last inning. Cougars up by two runs. Two outs and Buy Low batting with runners on second and third.

The next batter hit a hard topspinning grounder to the left side. As the ball was struck, the runner on third scored easily to make it 11-10. When the ball got to Fort, he stopped it on the dirt, grasped it and fired it home from his knees to stop the tying run. Crawdaddy stood like a Wall at the end of the Street ready to get knocked on his asset before he received the ball.

The ball and the runner arrived simultaneously. The runner knocked the ball to the fence as he crossed the plate. Crawdaddy never gave up, raced for the ball and tagged the runner who crossed the plate…but never touched it for the third and final out.

Buy Low tried to leverage the situation and sell us short but lost by a margin.

Cougars end the first trading session in the green with a 11-10 victory.

Cougars vs Ready By Tuesday | 05.17.22

In his days in the open outcry CME trading pits, Diamond Dave was a spread trader arbitraging price fluctuations while recording it all on trading cards.

A couple Tuesdays ago at Howard Park, Diamond traded responsibilities and kept the scorebook. He felt back at home as he recorded all the tallies. Cougars recorded a huge bid-ask spread with a 23-1 victory.

The Cougars went long. Three times! Ev, JD and CRads all had four-baggers. After Charley went long for the Cougars, he shorted RBT as he took the mound for a few innings and scraped sꓘy.

The entire team was in the money and wielded our bats like investment clubs. We were determined to earn the highest rating and wake up as Morning Stars. We are blue-chippers earning our green!

RBT went with the old axiom “Sell in May and go away.” In fact, Ready By Tuesday took that saying to heart and didn’t even show up for their game the following week against ONG. We bankrupted them.

Cougars vs Miller Time | 05.24.22

Our Black Tuesday arrived and our capital gains got taxed.

The Cougars had a pullback and a drawdown and lost to Miller Time 9-3.

Our bats were imbalanced and we had some flash crashes on defense…

… and almost a crash on offense.