Never Put On The Brakes

Growing up in South Holland, IL, I was subjected to many unique laws.  South Holland still is a "dry" municipality; that is, no alcohol is sold anywhere within the village limits. Additionally, the sale or rental of pornographic material is prohibited in South Holland. The village's franchise agreements with cable TV providers restrict on-demand and other adult-oriented programming.  And years ago, plans to bring a 16-screen theater to town landed in trouble when local ministers expressed concern that R-rated movies might be offensive to the community.

One law that South Holland has always vigorously enforced is speeding. I am not sure if this has a religious foundation but there is zero tolerance for violating the posted limit.

One night, when I was 17 years old, already on probation with a ticket on record, I was once again testing my heavy right foot west along 170th Street, one of the village’s main thoroughfares.  As I raced past the officer, who interestingly was timing me from behind a church sign, I looked in my rearview mirror and I could see his red lights coming after me.

In my infinite wisdom, I hit the gas even harder in my 1983 Nissan Sentra figuring I could outrun him over the bridge cascading I-94.  Once I got to the bottom of the bridge I made a series of quick turns and swiftly pulled into the driveway of a random house.  My hope was that I ditched the cop and even if I had not, my car looked like an innocently parked vehicle in a driveway.

I ducked low in the driver’s seat, but still high enough to sneak a peek out of the side view mirror.

Then I saw the officer come down the street.  He never hesitated.  He pulled right up to my car, got out of his, and saw me slouched in my seat.  I got out and before he brought me to the police station, I asked how he knew it was me. He said he saw my brake lights glowing as I had my foot pressed hard on the brake.

Darn stickshift car!  I should have used the emergency brake – it would have saved a trip to the police station and a call to my parents to bail me out.

As a driver, I felt my competition was the police, and I learned that you never put your foot on the brake (just kidding, kids).

Sports teams are taught the same thing: “Never let up - don't put on the brakes!”

The Cougars have played Miller Time more than 15 times over the last decade.  They have never put on the brakes.  We have lost every time.

Last night, Miller Time beat us 8-2. 

First Inning

The Cougars were sentenced to a 1-2-3 inning.

Miller Time was on a jailbreak with seven hits and four runs.

Them 4  Us  0.

Second Inning

No parole for the Cougars as we quickly went down 1-2-3, again.

Our foe started the inning with a single.  The next batter crushed a line drive to Martini who firearmed it to Rads for the force at second and turned the double play with a taser to Danielsen at first.  (Video 13:25)  The next batter flew out for our version of a 1-2-3 inning.

Still 4-0.

Third Inning

Philthy broke up the no-hitter with a single to left field.  Let’s all note that Dr. Phil told me all week that he was going to sit this one out so he would not reinjure himself.  Then, he shows up at gametime with his spikes all laced up.  I asked him if he intended to play.  “Of course, Captain!”  Pastor Ted followed with a single but we couldn’t get them home.

Miller had disorderly conduct again and scored two.

Cougars losing 6-0.

Fourth Inning 

Boom laced a single and then Joker nailed a hit and Boom sped around to try and score.  With an diving headfirst slide, Boom touched the outside of the plate but the umpire was not a good witness and called him out.  (Video 25:50)

We put them under arrests and didn’t let up any runs.

Still down 6-0.

Fifth Inning

Strong Coffey singled and Bobis was charged with aggravation when he ripped a triple to score him. 

We were delinquent and they got two on us.

MT 8  C 1.

Sixth Inning

Philthy was a repeat offender and pummeled another hit!  Jimmy followed with his own well placed rip to left center.  No runs scored though.

Pastor Ted put our opponent in lockup!  He made back to back unreal plays at shortstop that stopped them in their tracks.  (Video 43:50).  We held them scoreless.

Miller Time 8  Cougars 1.

Seventh Inning

Our last at bats.  Boom led us off with a hit while Joker and Martini both singled to bring him in.  Then our opponent stopped our unlawful entry at home.

Cougars lose 8-2.

We may never beat the rap with Miller Time but the Cougars are always "excelerators!"

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Game Video

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Pregame Photos

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Because we had the late game, Tonya and Jeff hosted everyone to a fabulous pregame party!

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Game Photos

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Practice Makes Perfect

The schedule said we were playing Gulliver's at 6:45pm.  They could not field a team so we won by forfeit.  

Instead of throwing a fit because we were not going to play, we rounded up a practice game with Clyde May's.  


Let's recap the highlights.


We got our annual team picture!

Charley made his Cougar debut!  He was 1-2 with a speedy single.  Only four more years until he can make his official debut.

We had a bunch of wonderful fans rooting for us and enjoying the beautiful night!

Molly and Kale threw a perfect postgame!

Beam Suntory gets the victory over Clyde May's

Even though it was just a practice game, the Cougars were winners all night!

Hot or Cold?

Growing up in South Holland, the best fast food location was Sub Port with Taco Castle coming in a close second.  

I'll tell you, the sandwiches there were fantastic.  Everyone had their own foot-long favorite. 

One of the hardest choices was whether to order it hot or cold.  At a rapid fire pace, the cashiers would ask, "Hot or cold?" after you placed your order.   They asked this hundreds of times per day so they were blurring all the sounds together, so it came out almost without vowels and sounded like "Ht r Cld?" 

Sometimes, at the drive-thru, we would pretend not to understand and see how many times we could get them to repeat, "Hot or Cold?" through the speaker. 

Sub Port was open late and on weekends, before our teenage gang ended the night, we typically made a run for a midnight snack.  The drive-thru lines were always long and we were always hungry so we devised a plan for speedier service.  

While the lines to order were long at the drive-thru, there was usually a two-car gap between the order screen and pickup window.  We would simply skip the order screen and slip into line at the pickup window.  This way we bypassed a dozen cars in line and procured the food the person immediately behind us had ordered.

This was our version of Sub Port Roulette.  When we got to the window, we would pay for the goods, but the food we "ordered" was a mystery until we opened the bag. 

The food was always a winner, we just never knew if we would be the losers if there wasn’t enough to fill our bellies.

On Tuesday, the Cougars were hot, then cold, and then were the losers because we didn't fill ourselves up with runs.

First Inning

Tappers had first raps and only their leadoff hitter reached base.  Good defense left him there.

Facing our nemesis, Brennan, we went down 1-2-3.

Second Inning

Facing their nemesis, Martin, the Tappers went down 1-2-3.

In our frame, Coffey got a single and ran all the way home on Danielsen’s base hit.

Cougars up 1-0.

Third Inning

The Tappers spayed the ball and scored three.

What an inning!  Consecutive crushes by Kale, Teddy, Flandog, Jimmy and Diamond Dave garnered us a couple tallies.

All tied up at 3.

Fourth Inning

Another 1-2-3 inning by the Cougar defense.

Another 1-2-3 inning by the Cougar offense.

Still all tied up at 3.

Fifth Inning

One run for the Tappers.

No runs for the Cougars.

Tappers 4 Cougars 3.

Sixth Inning

A couple of singles for the Tappers but no runs.

Kale dinged a double but we couldn’t get him home.

Score was still Tappers 4 Cougars 3.

Seventh Inning

The Tappers found the open spots on the field and touched the dish three times to take a four run lead.

Cold bats for the Cougars and we were out 1-2-3.

Game over.  Tappers win 7-3 to take the season series.

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Next week the Cougars are playing Howard Park Roulette and bypassing our opponent to pick up a hot victory.

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Game Video

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Postgame Pictures

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It was a united postgame event.  JD supplied the backyard while Ryan and Tim supplied the food and drink.  We all filled our bellies.  A wonderful time.  (Sorry that I did not get more pics - too busy eating and talking - lots of others at the shindig including many kids).

Weak Week

The blog is usually a weekly effort.  Today, it is a weakly effort. 

It’s taken a week to write the recap because I’ve been weak-kneed ever since our doubleheader. 

We won one and almost lost one.

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Earlier this season we played the new boys, Ready by Tuesday, and it was Hell Week for them as we hazed them in an 18-1 win.  This week they said, “Thank you sir, may I have another?” and spanked us 11-5.

First Inning

RBT pushed two across the plate.

Boom singled but no dice for us.

Cougars down 2-0.

Second Inning

We put them down 1-2-3.

Joker and Pastor Ted crushed hits but were left on base.

Still down 2-0.

Third Inning

Three runs on four hits for RBT.

We got our first two runs with Diamond Dave, Boom and Fort all getting singles.

Cougars down 5-2.

Fourth Inning

Nothing for our opponent.

One for us with JD leading off with a single and Joker driving him in.

Cougars down 5-3.

Fifth Inning

Ugh, three more for them. 

Jimmy, Diamond Dave, Boom, Fort and Coffey all banged the ball and we scored two.

Cougars losing 8-5.

Sixth Inning

Three more for them. 

None for us.  Went down 1-2-3.

RBT up 11-5.

Seventh Inning

Nothing for them.

Boom and Diamond Dave both got hits but did not score. 

RBT wins 11-5.

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The next flavor of the week was Slaughter House 9.

First Inning

SH9 got a couple of baserunners but nobody crossed the plate.

Boom started us off with a walk and Fort drove him in for our first run.

Cougars looking good 1-0.

Second Inning

Two runs scored for SH9.

Hits by JD, Baby Kale, Pastor Ted, Flandog and Jimmy got us three more.

4-2 Cougars

Third Inning

Two hits and one run for SH9

Boom and Fort combined crushes for a tally.

5-3 Cougars.

Fourth Inning

Two runs for our opponent.

Joker, Baby Kale, Pastor Ted, and Jimmy all pummeled the rock and we touched the dish twice.

Cougars up 7-5

Fifth Inning

One hit, no runs for our foe.

Fort and JD got on base but were left there.

Cougars up 7-5

Sixth Inning

Diamond Dave put ‘em down 1-2-3.

Flandog was strong with a line shot single but did not advance.

Cougars still up 7-5

Seventh Inning

SH9 rallied with a run to make it 7-6.  With two men on base and two outs, the batter hit a shallow fly ball into left field foul territory.  Boom saved our day with a sliding catch to seal the victory.

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While it was not the most stellar night, Boom and Diamond Dave had a strong week batting 6 for 7 and 4 for 5, respectively. 

Diamond Dave also pitched like he was on a union picket line because he was on strike all night.

Win or lose, I have a weak spot in my heart for the Cougars

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Game Videos
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Cougars vs Ready by Tuesday

Cougars vs Slaughter House 9

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Game Pictures
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Trust me, the fans were better looking than the team!