A Jewel on the Diamond

Yesterday was Julie’s birthday.  How old, you ask?  Well, let’s just say she celebrated like Hammerin’ Hank Aaron.

Coming off a spectacular Mother’s Day celebration put together by her wonderful family, I asked her what she would like for her birthday.

JRads simply replied, “I have such a patient, attractive, and humorous husband, as well as delightful, smart, and perfect kids, I don’t need any gifts." 

No gifts! 

That’s what our Coach Emeritus, Joe D. taught the Cougars years ago.  Make the plays, throw to the correct base, hit the cutoff man and eliminate errors.  Don’t give away runs. 

The Cougars took the ballfield last night for our first match-up against the Tappers this season.

In the first inning, the Tappers had three hits by their first four batters to score two runs. Then some dandy defense stopped a potential wave of runs.  With one out and men on first and second, the ball was hit to Martini on the mound, who threw it to Bobi at third for the force out.  Bobi then fired the ball to JD at first base for the double play but the runner was a stride too fast.  The always aware JD saw that the baserunner who was on first base had rounded second and was attempting to take third.  JD hurled the ball across the dirt to Bobi who cleanly caught the ball to make the tag to complete the double play.  It was a 1-5-3-5 double play.    

In our half of the first, JD ripped a single but the hits were not dropping for the rest of us.  Tappers up 2-0.

The second inning was scoreless for both teams but our frame was highlighted by a Bobi double.

In the top of the third inning, a double play again got us out of an inning.  With one out and a man on first base, the batter knocked a hard grounder to Martini who gunned it to Li’l Rads who stomped on second base and fired it to JD to complete the DP. 

In our at-bat in the third, back-to-back singles by Flandog and Boom got us our first two baserunners of the inning.  Both Rads boys made outs so JD came up with two outs and slammed a single to knock in a ribbie.  With two men on, Martini and Bobi had back-to-back hits to score a couple more runs.  Cougars 3 Tappers 2.

In the fourth inning their leadoff hitter got on base but our third double play of the game took him off the bases.  This time the batter crushed a line drive that tipped off Martini’s hands right into Rads’ hands at SS who gunned it to JD at 1B to double up the baserunner.

We broke it open in the bottom of the fourth inning with 6 hits and 5 runs.  Philthy, Li’l Rads, Flandog, Rads, JD, and Martini all hit the ball down and hard and took the extra base.  Cougars up 8-2.

In the fifth and sixth innings the Cougars only allowed two baserunners.  Over the same two innings, we had hits by Thejokewriter, Diddy, Philthy, Flandog, and Martini but could not convert a run.

In the top of the seventh, we completed our gift-free game with a 1-2-3 inning to end the contest.  We played an error-free game.

We were fault-free at the post game, too.  We had a huge crowd of Cougars and cougars. (Yes, many wives were there to celebrate, and I have not used that joke in a while).

Just like Julie wanted – No Gifts. 

A jewel on the diamond is less expensive than a diamond for Jul.

Cougars in the Rye

“I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all… And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them…” 

– Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye

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Well, where was Holden Caulfield last night when the Cougars were in a field filled with (Templeton) Rye? 

What a phony!

It would have been helpful if he caught us before we plummeted off the cliff and lost to Templeton Rye 8-6.

J. D. Salinger had his main character misinterpret a line from Robert Burns’ poem Comin’ Thro’ the Rye, which gave rise to the book’s title. 

So, to maintain the thread of great writers (ahem) taking liberties and purposely misunderstanding phrases, let’s use some famous lines from Holden and Catcher in the Rye to recap the game last night.

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“That's the whole trouble. When you're feeling very depressed, you can't even think.” 

Precisely.  Sampling other great works makes writing this blog a whole lot easier.

*****

“People are always ruining things for you.” 

Templeton Rye quickly went up 5-0 on us by the second inning last night.   

*****

"Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right – I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game."

We were on the other side last night.  We had moments of hot-shottedness in the field but mostly it was shoddy.  The Cougars were quickly down 6-0 by the top of the third inning.  We pushed a lone run across in the bottom of the third with a single by Boomgaarden and a double by Radtke (the older, taller and handsomer one).  Score 6-1.

*****

“It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.” 

Even in a crumby loss, we had so much fun in the fourth inning.  Lipsey led it off with a single followed by swings by Bobis and Otsuka moving the baserunners over.  Radtke (the younger one who has tall and handsome traits) had a solid hit for our first RBI of the inning.  Lipinski followed suit with a hit and McDonnell pounded a two run double and made it to third base on Flannery’s single.   Kirchberg, not wanting to be singled out, double dared the other team by clubbing a double to double-down with two RBIs.  Tie game 6-6.

*****

 “I don't even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it.” 

After his sweet single in the fourth frame, Flannery toyed and teased the pitcher with his lavish leadoff.  When the pickoff play was put on, Flannery scrambled for second base and got us our first stolen base of the season.

*****

"In the first place, I'm sort of an atheist. I like Jesus and all, but I don't care too much for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoy the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He was alive, they were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did was keep letting Him down. I like almost anybody in the Bible better than the Disciples.”

Kirchberg, a pastor in real life, did not let us down last night in a fantastic substitute effort.  I like him better than the Disciples too.

*****

“If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And then you're not as good any more.”

After some incredible defensive gems in the early innings by Otsuka, Boomgaarden, Kirchberg and Flannery, the Cougars let up two more runs to make the score 8-6.

*****

“How do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't.” 

Down 8-6 in the bottom of the last inning and with two outs, Boomgaarden used his speed for an infield single.  Radtke (the one who thinks he is clutch) came up next and ignored Holden’s prescient words.  He knew exactly what he was going to do with the left fielder playing off the line.  As the frozen rope flew  down the line, the left fielder’s fast feet caught up with the potential game tying hit, which proved Holden’s point.  No hit. Three outs.  Game over.

*****

“I knew it wasn't too important, but it made me sad anyway.” 

It’s only the second game of the season in an old man park district softball league, but the game did cause some gloom.  Our record is now 1-1 but we have many weeks of victory ahead of us.

*****

“God, I wish you could've been there.”

But Holden, they were there!  The Levys rooting on Catherine's brother and the team as well and some Otsukas, Radtkes, McDonnells and Boomgaardens!

*****

“I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice.”

Our fans braved the conditions and cheered us all game.

*****

“In every school I've gone to, all the athletic bastards stick together.”

Templeton Rye is mostly athletic Central School folk.  Bastards.  The Cougars are mostly athletic McKenzie School folk.  Double Bastard.  Double Bastard is a tasty beverage.  The Cougars stuck together and savored tasty beverages after the game thanks to Lipsey.

*****

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." 

Unlike Holden, I do not regret sharing this story.  We will see you all next week!