High Arcs

An arc is a curved part of a circle, which of course is the same shape as a zero. Given the big zero in our record, we need to smash some high arcs.

I have had a few requests for a Saturday practice. Sounds good. I am available from 7-9 if anyone else is interested. Let me know.

Game Recap

Joe said to play angry. Guaranteed that'll be me next week. Thank goodness I am not married to softball because I went to bed angry. If anyone needs me over the weekend you will find me at the cages.

We lost 10-0. Last night was the first time that all Dead Cougars were at a game. There were some good improvements on offense and defense, but we obviously need to work on each aspect a bit more.

The Misfit Beavers await us next week for a 9pm game. Dave "Juan Valdez" Melchiorre is in charge of drinks. Dave, please be sure to bring a copious amount of beer - not coffee.

"That's why the old guys beat the younger teams."

"That's why the old guys beat the younger teams."
-Coach Joe addressing the team on Sunday morning.

This quote really addresses the fact that playing a smart game is just as important (if not more important) as being athletic. Here are the notes from practice on Sunday. It was a productive session and we will give a refresher course to the folks that were not there. My favorite part was playing soft toss with the rain and lightning (see picture). I will send out the videos later today. Joe is copied on this email. I traded emails with Joe this morning and he wishes us luck on Tuesday and we need to let him know how it went.

Hitting:
· weight back, push off the back leg
· arms back in your stance
· get the arms extended in the swing
· keep the head steady like the Golden Bear
· look at the defense and see what they're giving you
· with 2 strikes go with the pitch and an 80 percent swing, don't try to pull it
· if you can't hit a high arching pitch "tomahawk" it
· if you like a low pitch stand back in the box, higher upfront in the box
· step toward where you want to hit it
· when going to the right side, a) wait till the ball is passed you, really wait, and then wait some more, b) don't break the wrists (you will on the follow through, but don't try to), 3) step toward right field
· productive outs to move the runners is ok and hit the ball to the right side with runners on 1st and 2nd

Bats:
· swing the heaviest bat you can as long as you don't sacrifice bat speed
· a lighter bat will give you more control, which is important when going to right

Pitching:
· if the guy is trying to pull the ball, step toward 1st base and pitch him outside
· if he's going to right step toward 3rd and try to jam him
· crossover step off the rubber
· potty shot style pitch

Defense:
· on high infield spinners try to "alligator clamp" the ball right hand on top of left hand.

Joe wrote me this morning and gave us another tip. "One more thing that could make the difference between winning and losing. On defense, just because a ball is not hit to you, you still have a job to do, and that is to back up a base in case of an overthrow. I have seen teams lose just because of one bad play like this where nobody backed up the base and the ball got away and the winning run scored."

Attitude:
· play the game a little angry
· bust chops after the game
· "kangaroo court" - charge fines for bad plays

"No good softball player wants to play for a lousy team."

"No good softball player wants to play for a lousy team"
- Mike Royko

We are all set for practice Sunday at 7:15 am at Howard. I'm fired up and our swing coach is looking forward to it as well. I have spoken and traded emails with him about the practice. I told him that I envisioned him giving us some general tips followed by us taking some swings and him giving any feedback or tips. He suggested that if we have a digital camera with movie mode, we could analyze your own swings based on his tips. I have a camera that I can bring out there and email the clips out.

Joe D (as I now affectionately call our swing coach although he doesn't know that yet) told me he will be wearing his black and white Grumpies jersey and black cap. Now, I am not sure if he told me this because he wants to be sure I can locate him in the wee hours at spacious Howard Park or if he just takes great pride in the 16-inch game and his team. I am going with the latter.

As I said earlier, Joe is not an official 16-inch softball swing coach. He has a full-time job, loves 16-inch softball and teaches golf in his spare time. I found him by working the web for about a week. Well, I am a salesman at heart so I put his two extracurricular activities together and contacted his to pitch him on the idea. Even though he hasn't done anything like this before, he loved the concept. If he continues this new profession, I plan to be his booking agent.

In preparation for Sunday and to get you into Joe D's mind and understand what I believe to be his strong affection for the 16-inch game, I will share with you a few items to get rolling.

First, a bit a background about softball. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Softball The two most enlightening passages are the following. 1. In Chicago, where softball was invented, it remains traditional to play with a ball 16 inches in circumference. This larger ball is generally softer (sometimes called a mush ball). When using a 16-inch ball, the fielders do not wear gloves or mitts. 2. Stealing in 16-inch softball is severely restricted, as a runner may only steal the base in front of them if it is open, and if they are thrown at, à la pickoff move or snap throw. This results in many inexperienced players being thrown or doubled off when they attempt to advance on a wild pickoff at another baserunner. For this second tidbit I may have to edit the Wikipedia page to name this "pulling a Dead Cougar."

Second, you must watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpuXfcx0pRU Mike Royko was a great writer and a hero to most Chicagoans for sticking up for the common man and his biting commentary. He loved his city, his booze and his 16-inch softball game. From Wikipedia: "He was also fervently devoted to 16-inch softball and was inducted into the Chicago 16-inch Softball Hall of Fame shortly after his death, an honor Royko's family insists he would have considered as meaningful as his Pulitzer."

Staying on the Royko track, when we started this team our tagline would have been "Sammy, get another round!" Now we have added, "No good softball player wants to play for a lousy team."

See you out there.

Swing Coach

We are 0-7 and need help. Our defense is slowly improving and will get better over time the more we get out there to play and practice. Our hitting is a different story. We have trouble getting consecutive hits, which translates into zero run production. If you take away our 6 run game vs. SLAM, we have 5 runs in 6 games. Not good. Put another way, we scored 45% of our total runs in the first inning vs. SLAM. We play Gullivers this week and although they only have 1 win, it looks like they've been pretty competitive in most games.

I have said a few times that I started the team for social reasons but I am very competitive. Man, it felt great to get those runs against SLAM as well as going 8 innings against the Chieftons. We need to put those performances on a repeat cycle and come out with a W.

By searching the internet over the last week, I have found ourselves a 16" swing coach. He has been playing 16" softball for more than two decades. He has not officially been a swing coach for softball but is a golf instructor in his spare time. Put together his long career in softball and his teaching skills and I think I have helped this guy find a new market.

He can come out early Sunday morning and give us an hour or so clinic. I suggested 7:00 or 7:30 am and he is fine with that. You may give up a bit of sleep, but I figure the earlier the better so you don't miss out on family time (plus we are guaranteed a field). This clinic is on my dime and I want to know who can make it.

Shoot me an email today and let me know so I can gauge interest. If you think I'm nuts, you can let me know that too.

0-7

We played the 3rd place Brew-Ha's last night and lost 16-0. We had some hits - just not consecutively. I thought the donut that Bobis brought would help us in the on-deck circle as well as at the plate. Maybe we need a sledgehammer ala Big Frank. Dave and Marc tried to pull a Dead Cougar on our opponent with men on first and second but being an experienced team they did not fall for it.

The good news is that the alley weather was great and the beers were cold. Flannery shared with everyone his theory against taking a pitch/walk, which is compelling. We also shared some good Vegas stories - Trout wins on that front.

Gullivers is our next opponent (6:45 game). Not including last night, they are 1-4 so we should have a shot. The champagne is at the ready.

Saturday night at Nevin's Pub promises to be a good time. Pop Rocks (featuring Melchiorre) will be playing there for a charity benefit. Julie and I will be there.

http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=ZPZFQXKSEVQXGCAMNXRM&li=iq&src=email

The Dead Cougars Can Play Eight Innings!

This week's update is brought to you by - DaMoJoe Magic Beans Coffee! I am enjoying a few cups of the Magic Blend this morning. The backstory is that my kids think Melchiorre is a superstar.

First, they see this most excellent performer onstage at the McK Variety Show in all of his awesomeness and they end up singing the S'mores and the Grill Daddys song (Steak and Chicken! Frankfurters too. We do the T-Bone two step. Yes we do.) for weeks and now months. Heck, he even had a page in the show's program honoring his achievements. Then, Julie and I reminded the kids that he plays lead guitar and sings at times for Pop Rocks and his status went up even higher. So the season starts and the kids come out to one of the first early games and they realize that this same cool guy is the also pitcher for the DC's (I think my own power ranking went up for that) and the kids are beside themselves. Finally, to round out his Renaissance Man persona, I find out that Dave roasts his own coffee as a side business. Cup number two has been consumed already this morning and on to cup three for the game update.

Buy your very own at DaMoJoeBeans@gmail.com.

I am going to try and get DateACougar.com to sponsor next week's update. Guaranteed that I will not be testing that product out.

Three cups of coffee are needed when the postgame lasts just past midnight and we were so fortunate that Mr. Lipsey supplied us with such a wide variety of beer.

We lost the game 4-2 in eight innings against The Chieftons. These kids were a mirror image of our team except that we are old enough to shave. We were the home team and only let up one run in the first inning, which has been our Achilles heel. We came back soon after and tied it up and were even ahead for a bit. They tied it up and we went to overtime. They scored two in the top of the eighth and we pooped out. We just didn't have the stamina or the swings in the end. Eight innings for us is basically a doubleheader.

Our hitting was anemic at times but we did have some nice hits that did fall for us. We played outstanding defense highlighted by Otsuka's left field heroics. He must have had seven or eight balls hit out there and he was flawless - running, diving, jumping - and catching every ball. Both Otsuka and Lipsey had line shots over their heads that they each caught and left them looking italicized in the air while making the catch. My little brother played an impassioned first base and even caught a ball one handed. My guess is that Little Rads (as he is known on the South Side) has no voice this morning because of his King Kong enthusiasm over at first base. Melchiorre has had enough pub in this update but, simply put, he is quickly becoming an all-star.

Our highlight of the game would absolutely make the SportsCenter Plays of the Week. We got snookered last week by the Hitmen with the ol' man on first and second pickoff play. We decided in the pregame that Melchiorre and Little Rads would "pull a Dead Cougar" on the Chieftons if the situation was right. They had first and second with no outs and the game was tied in the top of the sixth, I believe. Dave throws it to Marc, Marc lets it get past him, the runners advance (with the guy on second running all the way home and then into the dugout), Marc throws it to Flannery who has everyone screaming at him to tag everything in sight - runners, bases, the pitching rubber - anything (see, we knew we wanted to run the play but never talked about how to actually execute it). Flannery takes care of business and all of a sudden we have two outs and get the next guy for the the final out of the inning - it was huge!

In the end, we couldn't close the deal (coffee is for closers according to Alec Baldwin but I will be enjoying cup number four soon). We should be proud for our improvements.

A couple of postscripts:

Huge props to my wife and sister-in-law for encouraging Greg and I to leave our MI vacation and drive three hours to play in the game.
Great to have the Coach (Bobis' dad) out for the game and the postgame.

We really need more bp. I may send out an email to get some swings in this weekend. Also, heard from Melchiorre that another team in the league hired a batting coach a few years ago and they significantly improved. I am signing the DC's up for that next year.

Next week, I have Lipsey and Fortier out with Lipinski in charge of the brews. Speaking of brews, we play the Brew-Ha's at 8pm. Let me know if you are in or out next week.

The Dead Cougars Can Win This Week

You heard it here first! We are playing The Chieftains, which is the other expansion team this year. They are 1-3 with zero runs in their three losses. Our advance scout told me that they are a young team with inconsistent hitting and fielding. The Chieftains advance scout tells me we are an old team with inconsistent hitting and fielding. We will be just a bit smarter than them out there and come home with a W.

Everyone send me a quick email and let me know if you are in or out for the game on Tuesday (8:00pm start). I only have Lipinski out so far.

Lipsey is in charge of the adult beverages.

Game on!

Cougar/Hitmen Highlights

This was a message from Bobis for the game against the Hitmen that I could not attend.

Rads - here are the highlights from the Hitmen vs. Cougars.

In the bottom of the 4th, Hoglund got a hit to lead off and Oxer got on by fielder's choice. Martin gets a hit, Oxer to 2nd. Trout gets a hit and Oxer, rightly tries to score, and BOWLS OVER THE CATCHER ON THE PLAY AT THE PLATE!!, but is out for not sliding (plus the guy made a great tag). I never would have predicted that Oxer would be the Pete Rose and not the Ray Fosse in a play at the plate collision. Martin moves to 3rd, Trout to 2nd. Fortier gets a double and 2 runs score. At the end of the inning we're down 8-2.

In the top of the 5th we get 2 outs, but then there's a high fly to CF. Trout and Hoglund converge and the ball drops, guy gets a double and Trout thinks he breaks his finger.

I lead off the top of the 5th with the pressure to score to keep the game going. I hit a hard grounder to the 2B side of SS, no play, so I am on first. Marc gets a hit to LF and we've got first and second nobody out.

What happens next will go down in Dead Cougars history.

Marc takes his lead at first and the pitcher for the Hitmen tries to pick Marc off. He throws the ball away. Danielsen, who's coaching first, starts waving his arms, Marc breaks for 2nd and I break for 3rd. As I'm standing on 3rd the Hitmen tag out Marc, throw to 3rd and tag me out, double play. Basically I can't advance because they didn't make a play on me and Marc can't advance because 2B wasn't open, so we're both out. We end up getting a third out and the game was over. Unf'ingbelieve-able.

After the game we talked with the Santa Claus ump and clearly we made a rookie mistake.

You missed a hell of a game. I can't wait until next Tuesday.