Demented and Sad, But Social

Ah, the profound words of John Bender from The Breakfast Club. This could have been our team name.

Speaking of movies, it is like Groundhog Day every Tuesday night and Wednesday morning for me. We lose a game, have a great postgame and I can't sleep. I have realized that it is not the losing that contributes to my lack of sleep , but rather, the one or two too many beers.

For those of you not present, we lost the game 11-0 and set a league record for quickest game time. We let up 6 runs in the first inning and held them to 5 more over the next four innings. Melchiorre's lofty pitching was a highlight as we had many popups and ground balls during the game (some of which were actually caught). Hitting was not a highlight with Otsuka having our only hit.

I will take full credit for having such a great postgame. This is not because we had it in my backyard. It is because much of the chop busting centered on my overthrow to my brother at 1B that landed in Lake Michigan, which my niece had to retrieve (and was painfully viewed by a wife, a good friend, two sisters-in-law, two offspring, and four nieces and nephews). I may change my mind about my demotion because that would leave everybody without any comedy material.

The "two" many beers for me was my walk back to Howard with a plastic cup and a couple of pops in my hoodie to see the Hitmen play Keefe (Team Orange). We have something in common with the Hitmen - we both had 17 dropped on us in an inning by Team Orange.

We play the Hitmen next week. Now that I'm done with my one month professional retirement, it figures I have to be in NY for work next week and miss this game. The Hitmen are a great bunch of guys and I'm sure it will be a good postgame in the alley.

Let me know if you are in or out next week.

Fortier, you are the beer vendor next week.

Weekend Scrimmage

The Dead Cougars can score runs! We just need to score more than the other team. The defense is getting better as well. Although personally, after waking up Wednesday morning at about 4:30 with a slight hangover and dehydration from staying out in the alley too long and unable to get back to sleep, my first thought was about the two errors I made at SS. It was then I realized I need to get a real life.

So, in that spirit, I talked with a few folks on our team as well as the Howard Park Hitmen about a weekend scrimmage and there is interest on both sides.

Shoot me an email and let me know if you can make a 1:00 game time on Monday.

Dead Cougar Video

From Trout - this just confirms our excellent team name selection.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/a6868566a5

Softball Housekeeping

A few housekeeping notes...

First, and most importantly, I need all of you to send me an email with your status for tomorrow night's game. Are you in, out or on the DL. This will help me with the lineup so we do not forfeit and I can schedule equal playing time tonight and over the long haul.

The game is at 6:45 so we can be there early to warmup on one of the fields. I will be there by 6:00 or 6:15.

We play the Brown Stars who are 0-2 and also who lost to Walter Keefe 15-1 last week. Good defense should help us get a victory. Keep the ball in front of you at all positions and don't make that extra throw. Cutoff men and other infielders can help with this by yelling out the base to throw to, which is usually second base. Otherwise our adrenaline will have us throwing it over the backstop and the runners will take the extra base leaving us without a force out. It is rare that we will make a successful tag out - it is too difficult in 16".

Our final official score last week that was posted on the website was down to 35-1 from 38-1, so we have that going for us. Our comical score coupled with a kid bedtime-friendly start has tickets for tomorrow night's game almost sold out. Wives and children will be rooting us on and we can't let them down. Ignoring the advice from the "Marriage for Dummies" book I was given at our wedding, I will not be taking my lovely wife out for a birthday dinner tomorrow night. Rather, I have invited her to the game and told her that if she leads some cheers, then maybe I would offer her a postgame beer.

Speaking of beers, Mr. Danielsen - you are up on the alphabetical list for postgame beverages. We will most likely have a few in the left field picnic area of Field 2, which is also commonly referred to as the Washington Street alley.

Lastly, a few years ago the headline in a WSJ center story was "My Tivo Thinks I'm Gay." Well, my current headline would be "Gmail Thinks I'm a Young Stud Looking for an Older Woman." You see, Gmail is free because they post ads to the right of your email. The ads are based on the text in each specific email. Well, it turns out a cougar is not only a cougar but is also refers to an older woman, usually in her 40s-60s who pursues younger men in their 20s or early 30s. I must give thanks to Wikipedia and dateacougar.com for this information. The upside of this is that I learned the "half-your-age-plus-seven" rule for socially acceptable relationships. Backing into this for Melchiorre, Dave can date someone who is 90. Sweet.